Page 169 of Challenge Me

“Any new ones?” he asked, nodding toward the notebook.

“My mind’s a little blocked lately.”

“I’m sure you’ll write me something good soon enough.”

“I’d hate to disappoint you.”

He squeezed my fingers before focusing on a conversation Roman and Trav were having. I studied the curves of his face, the way the dim lights cast shadows that inspired the poetry I’d been unable to weave into anything sensible for days now. It made me wish that I could draw and write music and every other artistic endeavor that might give me a fighting chance to memorialize the beauty that sat in front of me.

Chapter 47

Remi

I begged for peace, but peace drew knives;

I bled for holy sin.

Now here I stand, a godless man,

Bleeding from within.

There was currently discourse online about me. I didn’t care, but Renshu did. Some other guys who made a lot of money did too. Amir had been on the phone for most of the day, arguing, then listening, then getting pissed off, then turning agreeable again.

Some people thought I was a villain. They were responding to other people who wanted to defend me. Everyone thought there was more information that needed to come out. So, they were digging. They couldn’t find my court records, of course, so it was all speculation. And speculate they did.

It was anyone’s guess why they cared so much. They all needed to get a life, which I knew they wouldn’t do. Most of them were influencers who ate up drama like gluttonous pigs and ‘reported’ on my life from their bedrooms with their stupid, tiny microphones. I was willing to bet my entire fortune on most of them living with their parents. In this economy, fair, but I was still going to shame them for it because they’d decided my life was their business.

At this point, I didn’t want to know what was going on, but I couldn’t avoid it. Renshu showed up and yapped for a while. I nodded along, and Amir kept his hand on me as often as he could. His grip tightened when the inevitable came up. Appearances. Explanations. Transparency.

I smiled, which they both took as agreement. Once their eyes were off of me, I dropped the act. I fled into my mind, unable to stand the way my life had become some bureaucratic team meeting.

Behold the clerks who stamp my fate,

Their pens as dull as the rules they create.

Influencers screech like caffeinated crows,

And somehow that’s the world we all know.

Great Algorithm, turn my life into a game;

Like vultures they’ll devour my rotting name.

It wasn’t until I heard the front door close that I returned to the present. Renshu was gone, which was a relief.

Amir got to his feet with a frustrated growl. I watched him drag his fingers through his hair and thought about doing it for him, but I stood and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know you’re tired of all these damn interviews.”

“It’s okay.”

“So, he wants us to speak when we’re in St. Louis on Friday. Dean can cover for you that day, right?”

“No.”

“Oh.” He frowned as he considered it. “I forgot he actually has a job. Oli?”

I shook my head. “There’s nobody to cover for me Friday.”