Page 160 of Make Me Mean It

“No.”

“I’m not fucking doing this, Connor.” I throw my hands up, frustration finally spilling through everything I’ve been trying to keep locked down. “I can’t.”

He crosses his arms over his chest and lifts his chin, planting himself there like he has every intention of staying all fucking night if that’s what it takes.

“I’m not leaving until you let me talk.”

A bitter laugh catches in my throat.

“Well, that’s too fucking bad, princess,” I snap.

The nickname slips out of me.

My jaw clamps shut around everything that comes after, the word hanging between us with far too much history attached to it. Connor’s expression shifts, only slightly, but I see it.

I hate that I see everything when it comes to him.

“I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.”

“Theo, I—”

I move before he can finish, my hand coming up and slapping over his mouth, cutting the words off.

I can’t hear it.

Whatever the fuck he came up here to say, whatever he thinks he can say now that will make any of this better, I can’t hear it. My chest is heaving beneath my shirt, my eyes burning, and every instinct I have is screaming at me to stop him before he says something I won’t be able to walk away from.

“Whatever you’re about to say,” I manage, keeping my voice low even though it shakes anyway, “don’t you fucking dare.”

Connor goes completely still beneath my hand.

His eyes widen, locking onto mine, and there’s something so fucking raw in them that my resolve slips for half a second. His lips are warm against my palm. I can feel his breath on my skin, feel the tiny movement when he swallows, and suddenly I’m too aware that I’m touching him after spending the last five minutes telling him not to touch me.

I rip my hand away and step back.

Because if I don’t, I’m going to do something worse than listen.

I’m going to let him convince me.

“This is over, Connor.” The words scrape all the way up my throat, but I force them out anyway, shaking my head when his mouth parts again. “So please, just stay the fuck away from me.”

His face falls.

I plant my hands against his chest and push him backwards, forcing him over the threshold before he can dig his heels in and start arguing again. Connor stumbles into the hallway, catching himself, and I grab the door before he can come straight back at me.

“Theo, wait—”

I slam it shut.

The sound cracks through the room, loud enough to make me flinch, and for a second I just stand there with my back pressed against the wood, staring at nothing.

My lungs won’t fucking work properly.

Every breath comes too fast, too shallow, my chest pulling tighter every time I try to drag another one in. I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, trying to get myself under control, but my legs are already starting to shake beneath me.

I slide down the door until I hit the floor, my head falling back against the wood with a dull knock as I drag my knees up.

Silence settles on the other side, long enough that I'm sure he's gone.