Page 132 of Trailer Trash

Because he could crush me. He could fucking kill me.

I suck, but not like it’s Evan’s.

I suck like I did the first time we slept together, my mind and body yearning to be in that magical night — if only to escape. If only to remind him.

He watches for a moment, his expression unreadable until the darkness shadows his face once more.

His movements are purposeful, every touch meant to hurt. Each snap of his hips delivers a harsh, powerful jolt through my body. It is not intimacy. It’s fury. It’s pain. It’s something else I can’t put into words.

Then he speaks, his voice dripping with contempt.

“I provide for you.”

Thrust.

“I look out for you.”

Thrust.

“I’m ambitious for you.”

Thrust.

“I fucking worship you.”

Thrust.

I’m so stiff, so shocked, that I don’t move. My knees are bracketed against his sides as I strain to take him, my nails pinch into his ribs in hopes it will slow him. The fight in my body is paralyzed by the fact it’s him.

He even bites my neck till I can’t bear it, yet I remember those warm lips being so soft before.

Then—

The knife slides into my mouth. When he grabbed it, I’m not sure. Could’ve been before or after his pants came off.

“Erm,” I garble, the steel against my tongue.

“What if our smiles match?” he growls low. “We can be happy together.”

I open my mouth as wide as possible, then very slowly, I push his hand back.

He lets me. I don’t know why. But he does.

“Killian,” I say softly, but the panic in my voice is clear. I reach up and grip the back of his head, bringing his face close instead of the knife. He doesn’t drop it. The blade kisses my neck, but I don’t react. I place my lips to his temple, trying to soothe this maniac I don’t know. I hardly trust sober Killian. This man I don’t trust at all. Not with a blade.

The only weapon I have is the one I didn’t think I could give to him twice.

“I’m in love with you,” I whisper near his ear.

Simple. True. Forced.

I kiss again and again, firm but desperate.

I don’t think he heard me.

I try again.

“I’m in love with you. It always means something when we’re together.”