Page 77 of Cat’s Guide To Romance

Lars: Why?

Sparkle: I’m planning a date.

Three dots appear almost immediately.

Lars: Oh shit. Kitty’s really chasing back.

Heat creeps up my neck even though I’m alone.

Sparkle: Answer the question.

Lars: Honestly? Weird human shit.

I blink.

Sparkle: Define weird human shit.

This time, he calls. I answer and immediately hold the phone away from my ear when he laughs.

“This is adorable,” he says.

“Lars.”

“Fine, fine.” His voice still carries a smile, but he settles down. “Lucien loves weird human stuff. Roadside attractions. Strange museums. Themed restaurants. Anything humans built because somebody had a weird idea and enough money to make it real.”

I sit straighter. “Really?”

“Oh yeah. Years ago, he dragged Ryan and me three states over because he heard about a giant fiberglass chicken.”

“A fiberglass chicken?”

“Huge fucking thing. Lucien thought it was incredible. Even in the dark at night because of Ryan.”

I start laughing. Of course he did.

“Does he do that a lot?”

“All the time. Still does, when he remembers to take a day off. He has a cabinet in his place full of garbage from tourist traps.”

“Garbage?”

“Souvenirs. Shot glasses, magnets, weird little figurines. He has a spoon from someplace shaped like a shoe.”

My smile grows as I picture Lucien carefully adding a novelty spoon to a collection. That sounds exactly like him.

“Why does he like that stuff so much?”

Lars goes quiet for a second. “I don’t know if he’s ever said.”

I curl my legs beneath me and wait.

“Maybe because it’s pointless,” Lars says finally.

“What do you mean?”

“Most of Lucien’s old life had a purpose. Track this person. Find that soul. Do whatever the higher higher demons wanted. Then he comes here and humans are building giant dinosaurs beside highways because they thought it would be funny.”

Something in my chest shifts. I look around my apartment. The pink chair doesn’t need to be practical. Neither do the twelve pillows on the couch. My glitter wall serves absolutely no purpose other than making me happy when sunlight hits it. Lucien looked at that wall after we finished it and smiled like we’d created a masterpiece.