Page 31 of Under His Control

On my way to my bedroom, I glimpse an in-progress painting on her tablet. A glowing, horned creature rises out of fire while characters in black hoods raise their arms to the sky. She came a long way from the simpler pencil drawings when she was younger.

I almost pause to admire her work but I keep going. While the walk cleared my head, the fucked up thoughts I had about her still lurk in the back of my mind. Being near her tonight might bring them to the forefront and even attract more.

I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m in my bedroom. My bedtime isn’t for another two hours and Penelope’s bed is exactly where I’d be sitting right about now.

Something has to be done about that.

She can’t sleep on the couch for the next two weeks. Where am I going to put her? This house was described as “cozy” on the listing. No kidding. It takes me three steps from the kitchen to the living room, and it only has one bedroom.

I resort to reading a book I started a while back. It passes the time until my eyes grow too tired to continue. As I lie in the dark waiting for sleep to come, the memory of Penelope apologizing to me with worshipful kisses arrive instead.

I’m sorry I was a dirty fucking liar. Please forgive me.

Do you forgive me?

Penelope doesn’t just want my money. She wants my forgiveness too. Since she literally got down on her knees for both tonight, it makes me wonder what else she would do.

How low is she willing to go to please me?

That’s a disturbing question I shouldn’t even consider, but my mind won’t let it go. The answer lies in another question that’s just as terrible.

How low am I willing to take her?

10

Penny

One hundred and seventy-two sheep make it safely over the fence with a cheery little “Baa!” before I give up on counting the floofy buggers.

My eyes drift open and I sigh. Of course I can’t fall asleep when I slept for most of the day.

Now that I’m no longer distracting myself with imaginary shepherding, the memory of what happened tonight with Jacob comes flying back.

I wanted to soften him with food.

I made him hard with kisses instead.

It’s been a few hours since it happened and I don’t know how I feel about it. I know how I’m supposed to feel—disgusted, angry, probably even afraid—but I don’t.

It was shocking… and flattering. A little empowering too.

Yesterday, my unexpected arrival took Jacob by surprise, and he’s been cold and controlled since then. Until tonight. Heat burned in his eyes as he looked at me, and he was obviously embarrassed by his body’s reaction.

I thought kneeling for him and kissing his feet made me subservient and weak. I was wrong. For a moment, while he exerted his will over me, I had him under my control.

My stomach flutters at the thought, excitement zipping through me.

I rub my face. “Stop that!”

That wasn’t exciting. It was inappropriate. Extremely inappropriate!

He took it too far, and I took it further by being a little too committed to the task. I badly wanted to show him my apology was genuine because I want his forgiveness as much—if not more—than I want his financial help.

Then I can finally forgive myself.

Some might say I’m carrying an unnecessary burden. I was a stupid kid influenced by my mom to do something terrible.

While that’s true, I was old enough to know I was doing something wrong. I knew I was hurting Jacob on purpose.