Page 43 of Under His Control

“Believe me, I’m mad at myself for not thinking ahead too.”

I grab one of my sweaters and hand it to her.

“Put this on over it so you don’t freeze out there.”

She takes my sweater and pulls it on. The grey material swallows her up, her pretty face a small oval within the hood.

It’s amusing and endearing, and her gaze holds me captive. Not for the first time, that lurking sadness in her eyes calls to me. I have an overwhelming urge to answer it when I look at her lush lips.

I could kiss her all better.

I quickly turn and yank open the door. The chilly breeze blessedly sweeps away temptation.

12

Penny

Gloom surrounds us as we walk down the driveway.

In the daytime, the evergreens around us are beautiful. At night, they’re dark, sinister shapes making perfect hiding places for the scary kind of wildlife: bears, coyotes, mountain lions, and moose that cause car accidents.

I’m walking beside a dangerous creature too. A man who took away my freedom and put a collar around my neck. A man who says he resents me, yet looks at me like he wants to eat me alive.

Jacob and I turn right at the end of his driveway and head down the hill. It’s steeper on foot, and the waist-high snow piles made by a plow force us to walk single-file along the shoulder.

Only two streetlights light the way, the twin amber pools just barely easing the darkness. More trees line the sides of the hill, their branches clacking in the wind and stretching out to touch us.

The steady sound of our boots crunching in the snow calms my mind. My anxiety about the darkness disappears. I take deep breaths of the cold, fresh air, grateful for it on my skin even though it’s making my face numb.

I’d be freezing if it weren’t for Jacob’s sweater. It was nice of him to lend it to me. His faint scent on the cotton makes it seem like he’s giving me a warm hug, and I’m trying to ignore how much I like that.

Today was… something.

I wouldn’t say challenging because I didn’t experience any actual hardship, but it wasn’t as easy as I expected.

Being by myself? Fine by me.

Going several hours without my phone or tablet? Not fun but doable.

Spending the entire day trapped inside with nothing to do, cut off from everyone and everything familiar? I wanted to crawl up the walls or run out the door screaming.

I tried to busy myself with cleaning. Jacob keeps his home tidy so there wasn’t much to do. At least a load of laundry allowed me to wear underwear again.

I did some pencil sketches but it didn’t hold my attention for long. Nothing did. There was just this constant sense of restlessness.

Snooping in Jacob’s bedroom wasn’t as entertaining as I hoped either. His closet only had clothes and shoes in it. A drawer that likely contained his important stuff was locked. The laptop on his dresser was password-protected.

Freedom from distraction did not allow room for self-reflection. Memories of the “intake process” pestered me all day instead.

No matter how hard I tried to think of something else, my mind always returned to Jacob’s hand sliding up the inside of my thigh, higher and higher, between my legs shamefully tight and warm. Then his perverse question would fill my head.

Would you let Daddy slide his cock inside you for thirty thousand dollars?

Before she met Jacob, Mom used her body to manipulate men to give her whatever she wanted. These guys would wear expensive watches. It would make me sick seeing that gleaming symbol of prosperity disappear under my mother’s short skirt.

When I got older and Jacob wasn’t in our lives anymore, she started encouraging me to do the same thing.

Hold a man by his dick and he’ll let you take him wherever you want to go.