Page 18 of Can’t Say No

Maybe it’s the near panic attack hangover, maybe it’s the genuine smile on Caroline’s face, but I almost let my walls down. I almost tell her how fucking exhausted I am with this merry-go-round, how desperate I am for something normal, even though I don’t know what that looks like anymore. I almost tell her that it’s been years since I’ve simply hung out with friends, years since I’ve been invited somewhere without any expectations attached.

I almost let those truths take root.

But those thoughts are interrupted by the school bell, followed by a swarm of high school girls that rush into the bathroom to primp between classes.

Instead I just shoot Caroline my practiced, media ready smile. “Can’t wait.”

The rest of the week rushes by in a blur, and by Friday, I’m beat. I’ve done world tours, performing in a different city every night with no time off, and somehow I’m just as worn out from one week working at a high school.

It’s like all the pent-up exhaustion has finally caught up to me, years of recording and performing and public appearances all coming to a crashing halt here in Ridgecrest, my body finally having time to feel bone-tired.

My Lexus is, apparently, just as worn down. Connor and Wells managed to get it jumped and to a car shop, but it needs more than a new battery. So, to add insult to the injury that is being relegated to my family home, I’m also car-less.

By the time I order a rideshare to Eddy’s, I’m already starting to regret my decision to go out tonight. The late afternoon sun beats down on my back as I make my way down the meandering driveway toward the front gate.

I can’t decide which is worse: the staggering solitude of this house, or the thought of small talk at Eddy’s. Nights out in L.A. were chaotic and unruly, but at least I always knew what to expect. I imagine a night out at Eddy’s with the hometown teachers is cute and domestic and cheery… all adjectives that I’m fairly certain I’m allergic to.

The sound of gravel crunching under tires jerks me from my thoughts, and I spot Connor’s old Honda Civic rolling to a stop ahead of me.

“Let’s go, princess!” He shouts, leaning out the window, tapping the side of his car. He’s got a five o’clock shadow and a fresh fade. It’s a dangerous combination. His brown eyes sparkle as he waits for me to respond.

“I called an Uber,” I say, jamming my phone in his face, annoyance creeping into my voice.

“I know.” He points to the screen. “I’m your ride.”

Sure enough: Your driver, Connor, has arrived.

“I pick up a few rides when I have free time. Helps pay the bills.” He shrugs before hopping out to open my door.

All I can do is roll my eyes.

He looks over at me, lips twitching with a suppressed laugh as I pull my seat belt across.

“What?” I ask, blinking back at him.

He shakes his head before turning back to look at the road. “Just laughing at the thought of you walking into Eddy’s looking so nice.”

So nice feels like a stretch. A simple black dress, hair in loose curls around my shoulders, and wedge sandals. A far cry from the typical level of glam I’d be rocking on a night out back home.

But as we pull into the parking lot of the dive bar, a sea of denim cut offs and ratty t-shirts greets us, confirming Connor’s speculation.

I’m definitely overdressed.

I roll my eyes in his direction. “Go ahead, say it.”

“Say what?” Connor replies, a coy smile playing on his lips.

“Say ‘I told you so.’ I’m gonna stick out like a sore thumb in there.”

“Not a bad thing,” he says, rounding the hood of his car to open my door. “You look great, Delaney. And since when do you care about standing out in a crowd?”

He’s wearing a crisp white button down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, paired with well-worn jeans, the perfect mix of put-together and casual.

“You look nice, too, Connor.”

He holds his hand out, always the gentleman, and I let him lead me across the gravel lot.

Eddy’s is the definition of a hole-in-the-wall. It’s a beers-and-burgers kind of place, dimly lit and cozy if you squint hard enough. I have a few hazy memories of coming here as a kid, always with Connor’s dad and older siblings.