Page 63 of Can’t Say No

I know I should take a breath, calm down before I say something I’ll regret. But now that the lid has been blown off, there’s no stuffing it back down.

“If you cared about what I want, you’d see that the orchard is running me into the ground. I’m so fucking tired. Tired of the physical work, tired of trying to save a sinking ship. Why can’t you see that?”

My dad points do the door and the slight shake of his hand sends a pang of guilt ricocheting through me.

“Go Connor. If you’re going to take that tone with me, leave. I’m not doing this with you today.”

I open my mouth to protest, but there’s nothing I can say in this moment that will make a difference.

I trudge back to my car, each step heavy.

Get your head out of your ass and do what’s right.

His words echo in my head as I drive back to our land, the land my dad gave so much to, the land that took so much from him in return.

An overpowering desperation eats at me. He has lived through so much heartache, and the last thing I want to do is add losing the orchard to his list of tragedies.

The right thing is to fold myself, my wants, my needs, my hopes, into something small and quiet, and commit to saving the family land, no matter the personal cost.

Delaney’s name flashes on my phone screen.

The personal cost.

I answer the call.

24

DELANEY

“As we approach our destination, please make sure your seatbelt is fastened and your tray table is in the upright and locked position. Thank you for flying with us, and whether you’re headed home, here for work, or just in town for a little R&R, we hope you enjoy your stay in Nashville.”

As I look out over middle Tennessee, I consider the fact that Ridgecrest is somehow home, work, and a vacation all wrapped into one. And much sooner than I’d like, my semester-long contract will be over, and I’ll have to decide which category Ridgecrest will land in moving forward.

L.A. was a clusterfuck. Molly Jo was sweet and doe-eyed, like always, happy to be swept along with whatever our managers said to do. That girl is talented, but has the backbone of a jellyfish.

I guess she’s not too different from me.

Matty and Remi were constantly at each other’s throats, bickering over what our media strategy should be once my time at Ridgecrest is over. Matty and his friends convinced me to go out with them, which was a predictably bad decision. I drank too much, said stupid shit, some of which was caught on camera… the cycle feels impossible to escape. Matty just laughed when I showed him the post being blasted around social media.

America’s Sweetheart Seen out Without her Teacher Boyfriend. Trouble in Paradise?

Matty hedged that at least the press was calling me America’s Sweetheart again, but that hardly felt like a consolation when my integrity was once more being called into question.

I unlock my phone, the first selfie Connor and I took shining back at me. His arm curved protectively around my shoulder, my hand tangled in his, our smiles bright and genuine. Looking at it now, nothing about it feels fake.

My stomach drops at the sight of an incoming text.

Dad: Making a fool of yourself again for all the gossip bloggers to see. What’s the play here, Delaney? I thought we were making progress.

Dad: Call me as soon as you land.

I toss back the final sip of wine I’ve been nursing the whole flight and shove my phone back in my bag.

What’s the play here?

Hell if I know. Up until now, it’s always been so easy: stay the course, do what’s expected, color inside the lines and not an inch outside. Miserable sure, but easy.

But that kind of steady obedience has lost its shine. And now, in the aftermath of it all, I’m not sure what the next step is. Somedays I want to disappear, to drop off the face of the earth, or at least out of the public eye. But there’s still so much about my career I really do love: my fans, making new music, the magic that can only exist inside a full stadium screaming my songs back to me. I’ve dedicated my whole life to this for a reason.