Page 69 of Can’t Say No

I glance over my shoulder at those big, bright eyes to see her hanging onto my every word, desperation and desire dancing on her face. If she keeps looking at me like that, I’m not gonna last long.

“I’m not about to fuck you for the first time on top of the washing machine. Now be a good girl and get your ass upstairs.”

26

DELANEY

Ipromised myself, while getting ready to go out tonight, that I wouldn’t sleep with Connor. Not until we sit down and talk everything through, not until we figure this whole thing out. Sleeping together would complicate an already precarious situation.

My confidence in my ability to keep that promise wavered back in the booth at Gustoso, when my whole body lit on fire with the simple press of his arm against mine. I lost a little more resolve when he protectively shielded me from the barrage of photographers as we left. But all reason went out the window when he looked at me while I was singing in the car.

Focus. Devotion. Adoration. A look so tender it nearly stole the breath from my lungs.

Love.

In that moment, I realized he’s been looking at me like that my whole life.

Now that I’ve seen it, seen him, I want him to see me too. In the light of his love, my vow of self-control looks less like discipline and more like barbed wire wrapped around my weary heart. And the ravenous look in his eyes might as well be wire cutters, because I don’t stand a chance.

The big farmhouse is silent except for the sound of our bare feet against the wooden staircase and the heavy rhythm of our breathing. I let Connor lead me up the stairs, thankful for his steady hand keeping me upright through my lust-filled haze.

I know the way by heart. The decorations might’ve changed when he bought the house from his dad, but this place is burned into my soul. This moment feels surreal and entirely ordinary at the same time. Inevitable, like no matter what the universe threw our way, we were always meant to end up back here, childhood memories layered together to form the foundation of our soul-deep connection.

Connor doesn’t stop moving until we are a few feet from his bed. He drops my hand wordlessly and lets out a shaky exhale.

My heart thunders against my ribs. The heady feeling from Connor’s lips on mine begins to fade, and in it’s place, anxiety rushes over me. In the brief silence, my insecurities threaten to spill out, and I brace myself for rejection.

My racing thoughts grow louder and louder. He just got caught up in the moment. He doesn’t actually want this. He doesn’t really want me. The electricity I feel must all be in my head.

“We don’t… we don’t have to do anything. I can go.”

I start to turn towards the door, but Connor’s hands are on me in a flash.

“Delaney, I finally got you in my bedroom after all these years and you think I want you to leave?” His voice was rough with disbelief. “Baby, I’m not sure how to make this any clearer. I never want you to go. Not now, not tomorrow morning, not the day after that. I want you, Lanie baby. Tonight and every night that you’ll have me.”

His eyes trace me from top to bottom, and even fully clothed, I feel bare in front of him.

“Now,” he says, voice coarse as he walks me backwards toward the edge of the bed. With a gentle push, I fall back onto the mattress. “I’ve told you before, if I’m fucking you, it’s because we’re in love.”

His throat bobs as he swallows hard. He takes his blazer off, then slowly uncuffs and rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, and fuck if it’s not the most seductive thing I’ve seen. My mouth goes dry.

“And I don’t know too much about love,” he says, stepping in closer to me. “but I know I want the world for you. I know I can’t stop thinking about you. And I know that no matter what happens after this, I’m yours.”

Those delicious dark forearms reach out as he cups my face delicately in his hand. He drags his thumbs across my cheeks and I shiver in response.

“Delaney, I don’t have all the answers. But I know I love you, and that’s enough for me. Is it enough for you?”

The heat in his eyes burns straight through me. I reach up to close the space between us, winding my arms around his neck as I rest my forehead on his.

“More than enough, Connor,” I whisper. “I love you.”

Those three words seem to flip a switch inside of him. Connor pushes me back onto his bed, caging me in with his arms on either side of my body. The smile I love so much dances on his face.

“Lanie baby, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

We stay like that for a moment, desire pulsing between us, while the significance of that admission sinks in.

The depth of our history, the significance of the last few months, the uncertainty that waits before us, it all fades away.