Page 89 of Can’t Say No

“Damn, Remi, you don’t hold any punches.”

She just shrugs and gets back to her checklist.

I was an ass. And I imagine I’ll be carrying guilt over that for a while.

But I have a good feeling about this next chapter.

One flight later, and my rental car is fighting for its life over the Tennessee hills. The drive from Nashville down to Ridgecrest isn’t short by any means, but before I’m really ready, I pull into the familiar gravel driveway of Connor’s farmhouse.

I haven’t spoken to him since I left two weeks ago, and as I trudge across the gravel to the front door, my body is acutely aware of the weight of that silence.

There’s a very real chance that he won’t open the door, or that he’ll slam it in my face when he realizes it's me, and either response is more than deserved.

I knock, tentatively at first, then a little louder. Then I ring the doorbell. Just once.

Okay, three times in a row.

But only because the first time I didn’t press it hard enough, and what if he didn’t hear the second? So logically, I had to ring it again to be sure.

I’ve officially lost it.

I walk the length of the porch, nervous energy coursing through my veins, as I wait an impossibly long few minutes for an answer. My patience is rewarded when Connor opens the door, shirtless and wearing low-slung sweatpants, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

My heart beats double time as I take him in, partly because, good gracious, he’s hot. But mostly because I royally fucked up the last time we spoke.

“Delaney, what are you doing here?”

My mouth goes dry and, for a split second, I ask myself the same thing.

Was this a colossal waste of time?

What if Connor hates my idea?

What if this grand gesture falls flat?

“I… I’m here to apologize.” I swallow hard, determined to say everything Connor deserves to hear. I rehearsed this speech in my head the whole flight, and then refined it on the drive down. Each iteration got shorter and shorter, until only the simple truth remained.

“I messed up. And I’m sorry. So damn sorry. I thought being here in Ridgecrest was the worst thing that could happen to me. But it turns out that leaving was. I want to be here, and I want you. Connor, I love you.”

Connor shakes his head, and huffs out a sigh, looking anywhere but at me.

“Lanie, feels a little late, don’t you think? You left, and it broke my heart. Broke half the student’s hearts, too.” He looks wrung out, worn down, and I hate that I’m to blame.

“I’m so sorry. And yes,” I nod slowly, “It is too late. I should have stayed. I didn’t think I could be here in Ridgecrest and still be me. I didn’t think I could walk away from my career, no matter how twisted it had become, and still be someone I knew on the other side. And I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner, but I see a way now.”

Connor turns his back to me and leans against the porch railing. A long minute of silence passes between us, and I let the beauty of the orchard wash over me.

“I really want to believe you, Lanie Lou.”

The sound of my nickname makes my stomach flip and my heart flutter with hope.

“I really want to,” Connor says again, turning to face me. “But I don’t think I’ll survive if you leave again. So if your plan doesn’t end with you and me together in Ridgecrest, I think you should go.”

The hurt and fear in his voice brings tears to my eyes.

I put that fear there.

“I promise,” I whisper, “there’s a happy ending. Here. With you.”