Page 81 of Hot As Ice

I smack her lightly on the arm. “Am not.”

“Are too.”

We watch about half of the episode in silence while we eat. My pad see ew is perfect. And judging by how Becca’s inhaling her drunken noodles, I’m guessing hers are perfect too.

“So, what’s new?” I ask, putting my plate back on the coffee table.

She shrugs, eyes on the TV. “Not much besides the usual.”

“You didn’t come home last night.”

“Um.”

“What?”

“I was…at a friend’s. We were up late watching a movie and I didn’t feel like driving back.”

I frown. That certainly sounds plausible, but Becca’s tone is shifty, like she’s not telling the whole truth.

“Was this friend…a guy?” I ask.

She shifts in her seat. “Maybe.”

“And is he maybe more than a friend?”

Becca stuffs a big piece of tofu into her mouth and chews for, like, an hour.

“Bec, I’m not gonna judge you for sleeping with some guy.”

“I know,” she mumbles.

But when she doesn’t elaborate, I decide to quit prying. She’ll tell me when she’s ready. The urge to blurt out everything about my and Hunter’s situation is always there when I’m hanging out with Becca, but so far, I’ve bitten my tongue again and again. So, I understand her wanting to keep her own secrets.

However, I have this feeling we’re both going to blurt it all out to each other at some point. The tension is palpable.

“I wish you could be my plus one at Celeste’s party,” I say instead.

“Hunter is your plus one.”

“I think technically I’m his plus one.”

Becca looks thoughtful. “It would be awesome to come to a society wedding. The fashion alone would keep me fed for weeks.”

“Do you want me to ask Celeste if you can come?”

Becca stares at me in horror. “Absolutely not, you crazy person. Just make sure you take lots of pictures, please.”

“Yes, boss.”

Later, as I’m getting ready for bed, I finally let myself feel the emotional weight of everything that’s been going on. The nebulous relationship I have with Hunter, all the feelings that he evokes in me, the fact that I’m fully addicted to him, and also the fact that I feel more and more uncomfortable about our contract. And now, all the expectations of me as a member of Celeste’s entourage and the nerves of attending the party full of a bunch of rich and important people. I feel like everyone is going to take one look at me and know immediately that I don’t belong.

Somehow, I’ll have to hold my own.

I crawl into bed, not even bothering to read a few pages of my book. My essay on The English Patient was turned in weeks ago and I got an A-. I’m halfway done with my other essay on The Taming of the Shrew for Philosophy. At least I’ve been on top of my schoolwork. Not worrying about money has made me pay more attention in all my classes and have the time to do the work and all the required reading. I’ve also been busy making new jewelry designs and shipping off orders. I’m in this perfect bubble right now, and bubbles always pop.

As I close my eyes, I say a little prayer to the universe that everything will be all right.

twenty-five