Page 73 of All in with the Maverick Montana

“I wanted to call you every day. But every time I picked up my phone, I chickened out.” He wove his fingers through hers. “Who knew something so simple could be so scary?”

“I assumed all this time that you had been questioning whether you could raise another man’s child. Or whether you even wanted to have kids at all. That’s a big question to answer. So I wanted to give you time and space to think about it, or else I would have called too.”

“I’ve known for a while now that I wanted a family. A wife. A couple kids running around the ranch, hearing their laughter spill across the pasture. Keeping them from getting up to mischief.” He chuckled softly to himself. “Well, some of it, at least.”

Amy let out a strangled breath, swiping at the single tear that slipped free. He painted a beautiful picture, but just because he wanted a wife and kids didn’t mean he wanted her. “If it wasn’t the baby that kept you away, then was it me?”

“God, no, Amy!” He cupped her jaw, running his thumb over her cheek. “Mostly I was thinking that it’s a little hard to compete when your opponent is an internationally renowned heartthrob. I can’t jet you off to private islands or shower you with luxuries. Not the way Tru could. And I guess I didn’t feel good enough for you. I also sort of thought that by fighting for you, I might be depriving you of the life you and this baby could have had with Tru.”

“Good enough for me?” Amy practically choked on the words. “Oh, Josh. You’re too good for me if anything.”

“Amy—”

“I’m serious.” Amy couldn’t believe that’s what he’d been worrying about. “Tru and the jet-setting were a distraction from what I really wanted out of life. It was never real. It was never going to be anything. We were never going to work.”

“So what do you really want out of life?”

“Someone solid and down-to-earth. Someone who’s going to be there for me, that wants to be there for me.” Not someone that was running around the globe, chasing fame. At one point she’d thought that Tru was something special, but now she knew he wasn’t a real hero. He wasn’t the kind of guy who would tend to her when she was sick, or make her laugh till she cried, or even ask her what she was thinking. “Until I met you, I didn’t even realize what I was missing out on. And now, I can’t imagine my life without you. I know that’s a selfish thing to say, considering the circumstances.”

“It’s not,” Josh assured her. “I promise it’s not.”

Amy plowed on. Whatever happened now, at least she could say she’d told Josh exactly how she felt. “I’ve done a lot of thinking lately, and the globe-trotting life is fine, for some. Maybe even for me, once upon a time. But that was then, and this is now. Now I want a quiet life…with you. Something simple and happy.”

“Amy, that’s all I wa—”

“Wait,” she said. “Please. I just want to say that I also understand if you don’t want to be a parent to this baby. I know you said you want kids, but maybe you want your own children, and that’s okay. But I am going to have this baby, and if you’re not all in, I won’t hold it against you. It’s a big change and a lot of responsibility in a short amount of time. It’s asking for twice the commitment and we both know how new this still is between us. There is no pressure.” Everything shook—her voice as she forced the words out, her hands where they clutched his sides, her chest as her heart rattled uncontrollably. She was almost dizzied by the intensity of her feelings. By how much these words hurt her to say. “We can part as friends.”

“No,” Josh said immediately. “We can’t be friends.”

Amy just looked at him, silently wishing and pleading, wanting him to choose her.

“I’m not young and naïve,” he continued. “I spent a long time looking after a piece of land, wondering what my dad really meant when he said all that mattered is having good people to call home. But now I finally understand. You’re my home, Amy. I know it’s soon, but I also know my mind and my heart, and I love you too much to ever let us just be friends. And I will love this baby too, if you’ll let me. So, in case it’s not clear yet, I’m all in.”

“Josh—” Her voice trembled.

“And I’ve already told my mom you’re my person. She’s really excited to meet you.” He grinned. “Please don’t make me go back on my word.”

A laugh of disbelief tore up her throat, and Amy dove into his arms. This time she couldn’t stop the tears that flooded down her cheeks. They were happy tears, though. Tears of joy. She tilted her face up and kissed him. Again and again. She kissed him in a way that hopefully told him there was no one else in the world for her.

She kissed him until he knew just how much she loved him too.

Chapter Twenty-One

Josh kissed her back, feeling her lips part in a gasp. It felt like it had been ages since he’d kissed her, and he sank into her touch like a starving man into a meal. He wanted to devour her. To make her tremble in his arms. To make up for all the moments he’d made her question his intentions.

Josh deepened the kiss until it was all tongue and teeth, soft and sweet. When Amy finally turned her head to gasp for air, he pulled back, giving them both some space.

“Is this okay?” he asked, stroking his thumbs along her cheekbones. There were unshed tears in her eyes. “Are you… Are you okay?”

She nodded, her smile watery. “It’s better than okay.”

“You’re sure?”

She laughed a little. “I’m just so happy.”

“Good,” he said, pecking her on the lips again. “I want to keep making you happy, for as long as you’ll let me.”

“I mean it, Josh,” she said, her hand pressing gently against his chest, her fingertips brushing over the place where his heart beat. “You make me so happy.”