Page 182 of My Unfinished Heart

He nods, brushing a soft kiss to my lips.

“And how does the timing feel?” I ask.

“Pretty good. I’m done with finals. I haven’t scheduled the LSAT yet. I don’t have anywhere to be for a month at least.”

“I can think of someplace I’d like you to be.”

“Is this about your erection?” he asks.

“How’d you know?”

He moves, rearranging his legs to straddle my lap. “I’ve made quite the study of you. It’s my life’s work.”

“I could not possibly love you more.”

“It just rolls off your tongue now, doesn’t it?”

“Come to bed with me.”

“Is this about lube?”

I nod.

“Do you miss being with women when you didn’t need all that?”

“No,” I say very sincerely. “I only ever missed being with you.”

“Well, I have lube.”

I have to adjust my face and jaw, not loving the implications there. “Do you go on a lot of dates?”

“I hid it in the couch when Kate was putting the star on the tree. Just in case.” He reaches past me and pulls a bottle of lube out from behind the cushion I’m resting against.

“You wanted to have sex in front of the Christmas tree didn’t you?”

He smiles.

“Because you know how good you look right now, don’t you?”

“I mean, you’re very hard. It’s so affirming.”

I all but smash my mouth to his, and he opens instantly for me. The kiss is a catharsis. The antidote for everything that’s ever poisoned me.

He breaks it only to pull off his sweater and toss it aside. The black tank he’s got tucked into his waistband needs to go, too. I unbuckle his pants in a hurry, and he strips off the tank. His nipples have rings in them now, and I can’t stop myself from touching them.

“I haven’t had sex with anyone but you since the last time,” he says.

“Me either.”

“Really?”

I laugh shortly. “Yeah. Really. It’s okay if you’re shocked. But I’ve been kind of a mess and really fucking hung up on you, so…”

“That’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He rises onto his knees, allowing me to pull down his pants, which I do, a little roughly. I also take advantage of the space he’s giving me to undo and shove down my own. He tugs upward at the sides of my black thermal shirt, and that’s what I take off next. His hands immediately smooth up my torso, pushing me back into the cushions as he leans in to give me another hot, wet kiss.

I once said every kiss felt like he was stealing something from me that only he could ever hold, but it was love the entire time. What he really stole from me was the wall surrounding it in my chest. He took it away brick by brick so that it can now flow freely between us, each of us giving it and taking it back.

I prep his little hole while he keeps a steadily moving hand on my cock. His kisses are short and fervent, like he’s impatient with the fact that I’m trying to make this good for him. But he’s also not stopping me, so once a third finger is getting less resistance, I deepen our kiss and readjust him on my lap. Immediately his hips rise, and he moves my cock to his hole.