Page 57 of These Secret Years

I run a hand over his short hair, and he leans into the touch. “You want to tell me what you’re nervous about?”

“I like you,” he whispers.

“I like you, too.”

His eyes close. “I’m not sure it’s the same.”

“Can I be honest?” I ask.

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

“I feel safe with you,” I confess. “I want you to feel safe with me, too.”

“Okay.” He exhales shakily.

“It won’t hurt my feelings if you say no.” That might not be a hundred percent honest, but I want to give him an out he doesn’t have to feel bad about.

“Then what’s this? You want to fuck me, but you don’t have any feelings about it at all?”

“I just told you I did. I like you. I trust you. It doesn’t need to be complicated.”

“Right. It’s just like—a transaction, or whatever.”

“It doesn’t have to be cold, either,” I tell him.

“Would it just be a summer thing? A one night thing? Would it mean anything?”

“Do you need it to? Mean something?”

“I don’t know. I guess not.”

I check his crotch and see the enormous bulge there. The sight stirs my own cock, and I notice with some alarm that mine is about to be pointing directly at his face. I turn my hips because as much as I may want him, I don’t want to make myself that available. “It could be just this one time,” I say. “Or it could be the summer. I guess that all depends on how it goes, right?”

“And what about when we get back to school?”

“We’re never gonna see each other at school. We live in two different worlds there.”

He nods. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Come on,” I tell him. “This could be terrible. In fact, it’s more likely to be terrible than not if you think about it.”

“Is that your hard sell?”

I laugh. “Yeah.”

When he doesn’t move, I stop touching him. “All right. Well, I’ll give myself a tour. If I’m gone too long, come find me. Or don’t.”

“Sullivan…”

“Yeah?”

He stands. “I’ll show you around.”

Chapter Twelve

KNIGHT

Sullivan is a hundred percent right. Feelings don’t have anything to do with what he’s offering. Whether he likes me or I like him doesn’t matter. Even if he were available, it’s not like we can ever be together. And even if we were together, it’s not like it would be good. We have chemistry, I guess, and he’s easy enough to talk to in that difficult way he has about him, but it’s not like I’d even have time for a relationship once we get back to school, and he’s right about something else, too—this could be a disaster.