Page 91 of These Secret Years

I want him over me, filling me. I want his kiss, and I want his hot breath on my neck and his arms around me. I want him to reclaim what was taken from me again and again and leave marks that never heal. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything.

Fuck.

“What are your plans for the summer?” I manage to ask and break the spell.

“Hm.” He looks back down at his beer. “Home.”

“With the twins?”

“They’re like family now,” he says.

“That’ll be good. I haven’t decided what I’m doing yet.”

“No?”

I shake my head. “I mean, there’s one thing I have to do, but for the rest of it, I’m not sure I wanna go back home this year. Maybe a quick visit, but I need to work.”

Knight frowns and turns to look at the Audi again. My pulse speeds up. “What’s it like? Sex work?”

I let out a slow, careful breath, feeling like I dodged a bullet. “It’s not that bad. Maybe since it’s a college sex business, it’s always people who are young and relatively healthy. And the way we have it set up feels safe enough. Guys that hard up generally follow the rules in case they want to come back.”

“Generally?” he asks.

“Sometimes they’re drunk, so…they might try to get more or whatever, but it hasn’t been a problem.”

“Are they always different people, or do you have, like, repeats?”

“More repeats at this point than newbies, but there’s always someone who wants to see what getting their cock sucked by a guy is like.”

“Not just any guy,” Knight mutters in a low voice.

I pretend I didn’t hear. “Sorry, what was that?”

He tries so hard not to smile. “You heard me.”

“I think you might need to come over here and say that again.”

His eyes flash, and it’s so sexy I almost part my legs for him. “Yeah?”

“I just want to make sure I heard you right.”

He sets down his nearly empty bottle and crawls the short distance toward me. His face hovers above mine, and his t-shirt gapes slightly at the neckline. Glancing down his body, I see that it’s also ridden up to reveal his incredible abs and the dark hair that disappears behind the waistband of a pair of very well-fitted athletic shorts. “You’re not just any guy,” he says quietly.

The cicadas are so loud, it sounds like he has a lisp. It’s an interesting trick of sound even I can’t figure out right now because he’s so close I can feel his body heat.

“I don’t want you to pay me for this,” I tell him.

“Okay.”

“But I reserve the right to change my mind.”

“Okay,” he says again.

“Would it be too weird if I kissed you?”

I hear his breath catch, and then he shakes his head slightly.

“I know nothing’s changed. I know we can’t be anything. I know I have to pretend I don’t know you, but I just want⁠—”