Page 95 of These Secret Years

I barely nod before I’m back to kissing him and grinding on him, doing my best to relax by ratcheting my arousal higher.

“I’m not stopping,” he says even as he takes his hand off my ass. “But I want you to let me kiss it better.”

“What?” I ask, my voice startlingly high.

“Like I love you, right?”

“I didn’t mean⁠—”

“I get it. We’re just pretending. Will you let me?”

“Do you really want to?”

I swear, even past the screaming cicadas, I feel a low growl rumble deep in his chest. “Yeah.”

“Do you think it’ll help me relax?” I ask, like I’m the virgin. In this respect, I am.

“I do, and I wanna taste you. All of you.”

Oh, God. This is just pretend, right? “How do you want me?”

“We can keep it simple. On your stomach? Or…you could sit on my face,” he says with a grin that shocks the hell out of me.

“Simple,” I say, intimidated by that look, but not in a bad way. Sitting on his face would imply I want to have any control of this situation, when all I want to exert is my consent. It’s effort enough.

“I have lube,” he says as we’re unlocking body parts and rearranging ourselves. He reaches under the pillow where I’ve been resting my head and pulls out a small bottle.

“A blow job, huh?”

“You know me. I like to be prepared.”

Do I know him? And if I do, does that mean he knows me too?

“Are you comfortable?” he asks as I settle onto my stomach and wrap my arms around a pillow.

“Yeah, I think so.”

I glance over my shoulder, watching as he kneels between my legs, both his hands lifting to massage my ass cheeks and my upper thighs. “You’re beautiful,” he says in that same growly way.

“You don’t have to go overboard with the love thing.”

“I promise not to say I love you. How’s that?”

“Okay,” I say quietly.

“But I do think you’re beautiful. You should know that. I’m sure I’ve said it before.”

I think he has said it before, more than once, but it’s hard to remember with his hands kneading the deep tissue of my ass and legs. My hole is occasionally fluttering open, but every time I feel that happen, my body clenches it closed again. I might not be able to do this, but I’m sure as fuck going to try. I want this so much, it’s indescribable. It could be so good if I let it. It could be everything I need.

But I can’t put that much pressure on myself or him. I shut my eyes again, reminding myself to feel this. To feel every moment of this.

The truck creaks and shifts with his body weight. His torso fits itself between my parted legs, and his arms rest on the backs of my thighs. His strong hands hold open my cheeks just enough not to stretch me too much, and then I think it’s his nose that runs up from my balls, over my taint, past my hole, and all the way to my tailbone. He presses a kiss there, and it’s unexpectedly amazing. The sensitive skin lights up at the feel of his lips as they move with long, lingering kisses incrementally closer to my hole.

“Shit,” I whisper before anything has barely happened.

I get a hum for that, and it feels incredible, too. “Is this okay?” he asks.

“Yes. Yes. I’m okay, I promise.”