Page 10 of Melt His Heart

Ireturn to my flat in perfect time to get ready. What should I wear to something like this, with a bunch of hockey players? I should have probably asked Carson. Setting my keys down on the kitchen counter, I head to my closet, staring at the contents for way longer than I usually do. I grab an oversized black sweater and some black jeans.

I wonder if this is good enough? Or is it too much?

Wait, why do I even care?

I roll my eyes and flop down onto my bed, sighing. I can’t believe I even agreed to go to something like this, especially the night before training. And we’ll definitely be drinking. What was I thinking? I should probably tell Carson I changed my mind, but I don’t even have his number to let him know, and I did say I would already. I try to never go back on my word. It’s just…I shouldn’t be doing this.

But maybe Carson is right; I should loosen up a bit?

I groan and try to push these thoughts to the back of my mind; maybe I can just do this once, to say I’ve done it before. That’s all, just to get it out of my system. I grab the clothes off the bed and start to change. It’s a little cold out, so I add a big black scarf that covers half my face too, and put on a light jacket. How am I supposed to know if he’s here or not? Why haven’t we exchanged numbers yet? I mean, I guess we’re not really friends. Are we?

I decide to just head down. I’ll wait in the lobby where I can see him until he gets here. Thankfully, just as I’m coming off the elevator, I spot him at the front of the building. I walk out and meet him as he’s getting out of the car.

“Hey…” he stammers, raking his eyes over me slowly.

Why is he looking at me like that?

“Actually, I noticed you’re kinda close to Sam, so I was wondering if you’d be down to just walking together from here since I wanna drink a little. Is that okay?” he says with a swallow.

“That’s fine. Thanks for coming to get me.” I say, burrowing my face into my scarf.

“Of course. You look great, by the way.” He bites his lip and wipes his palms lightly on his dark jeans.

“Oh, thanks. You too.” I say, playing with my sleeves.

I really mean that because tonight he has his long hair down, and I think this is the first time I’ve seen it like this. It perfectly frames his sharp, handsome features. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and a nice black leather jacket. He looks so good, I’m definitely starting to think I should’ve stayed in tonight. Away from him.

“Also, sorry, I should have brought something. I didn’t have time to…” I start.

“Nah, you’re good, it’s ok.” Carson chuckles.

“Should we get going…” He asks, gesturing toward the direction I guess we’re going to be walking in.

“Yeah.” I breathe.

* * *

Sam really does live super close to me. I’ve actually walked by his house a few times on my way. I’m starting to think we all must have opted to live as close to the rink as possible. The trek here was pretty quick and rather quiet, and honestly, thank God for that because I think my nerves are starting to kick in as I’m realizing that I’ll actually have to socialize tonight. With people other than Carson. I pinch my brows together as we reach Sam’s place, and he looks over at me.

“Are you ok?” Carson asks, gently touching my arm. I realize this is the first time he’s ever touched me, a wave of warmth washing over my body at the thought.

“Yeah. Of course.” I try to give him as good of a smile as I can, but his frown tells him he doesn’t believe me.

“Julian, if this is too much, you know I was joking earlier, we don’t have to…” He starts, and I feel bad; he looks so worried about me. I hate having someone worry over me. Especially when this is something that seems to come so easily to everyone else.

I feel silly.

“No, Carson, I’m sorry, I’m just nervous. I’ve never really been to a party before,” I say quietly.

“It’s cool, think about it like this; they’re just the same ole guys you see at the rink, a bunch of donkeys.”

I can’t help but laugh at the way he’s trying to ease my nerves because I do think they’re a bunch of donkeys.

“See. You’re gonna be fine, just be yourself.” He says, “If it’s too much, just pinch me.”

My breath catches as he gently pushes a few strands of my hair that’s gotten in my eyes away. Before I can even register what just happened, he’s already headed to the front door, holding his hand out for me to take. I grasp it, his palm warm and firm. Grounding.

When we walk through the door into the foyer, the party is well underway, and there’s players and their significant others all over drinking, and enjoying each other’s company. The music isn’t playing too loud, so that’s great; there’s enough overstimulating things going on already for me.