Page 19 of Melt His Heart

Being with him and his team, I felt maybe I could have a life outside of my career and still perform at a level that would make my parents proud.

I’m still angry at him and myself.

Especially him, with the way he tries to engage with me every time we see each other before training. I would think he doesn’t even know why I’m upset with him. And that makes me even more upset. I shouldn’t be getting close to him anyway.

We share a rink. That’s all.

I huff as I walk into the facility, shrugging my bag further onto my shoulder. The ice is empty. I should feel relieved, but why do I feel almost disappointed by this?

I cut through the halls towards the locker room to store my things away. And there waiting is the man taking up way more space in my mind than I’d like to admit.

“Hey,” Carson starts, and I just stand there, staring at him, my eyes growing a little wide, “whatever I did, I’m so sorry ok?”

He moves toward my frozen body. Carson is holding a bouquet of peonies and a pink rabbit plushie; his hair is down.

I feel like he knows I like it.

“Can we just talk?” He pleads.

“What’s this for?” I stammer.

“I saw this bunny while I was at an away game, and I thought of you. I didn’t get to give it to you because you haven’t been really talking to me. And I noticed you like flowers too, so…” Carson starts again.

Of course, he would notice that. He seems to notice a lot of things about me, but he didn’t notice why I was so upset.

“You were thinking of me, but you never text me back. Do you often just cuddle with guys, sleep in their beds and piss off?” I deadpan, interrupting his speech.

“Piss off?” He grins.

“Really, Carson?” I roll my eyes.

“Alright, alright, but wait, that’s why you were mad?” He chuckles.

“Is that funny to you?” I ask, folding my arms.

“You’re so cute. I forgot that was your first time,” He coos, stepping even closer, holding the gifts out toward me. I look down at them and bite my bottom lip a bit.

I want to take them. This is my first time being given something like this from a man. I’m having way too many firsts with Carson, and I’m not sure how I feel about that yet. Warmth pools in my stomach as I gaze down at his gesture.

“This doesn’t mean I forgive you!” I huff, snatching the gifts from him, nuzzling my nose into the flowers for a sniff. Carson smirks, watching me as I gently touch the petals of the flowers.

“But seriously, I really am sorry. It’s just the season gets pretty busy, especially with away games, that’s where I was. And after the games, we’re all pretty beat, so it may have slipped my mind to respond to your message. I’m sorry.” He explains.

I shift in place, feeling a bit embarrassed because that does make sense. I would know.

I don’t speak to barely anyone leading up to my skate in order to give me complete focus. Not that anyone but my family and coaches would be contacting me anyway, but still, even my parents know that I’ll get back to them afterwards.

It’s just that he never got back to me.

I don’t want to admit it, but…I was hurt by that.

I bite my lip and look down at the floor, but he follows my movement, trying to look into my eyes for some reason.

My body feels like it’s melting under his gaze.

“I don’t want you to feel like I don’t care about you or don’t value your time. And I was truly grateful for you coming out with me that night. I know it’s not something you would usually do. I know how much your training time means to you. I promise I’ll be a better friend and check in from here on out.” He puts his hand on his heart and smiles at me.

“Friend? Who said we’re friends?” I mutter, looking away.