Page 60 of Melt His Heart

It’s mostly because he still hasn’t said anything about it at all.

I went down an entire rabbit hole in my mind, creating scenarios where they’re secretly rekindling, and that’s why he didn’t tell me. But I know that isn’t fair, and Liam is right, I need to talk to him.

But what if his explanation isn’t good enough for me?

I’m scared to know.

The team is already done with their allotted practice time when I get to the ice. I walk through the hall, past the gym room, the boys are loud even from out here. Carson is going to wait for me to finish up my practice today so we can head home together.

I’ve been trying my best not to make it awkward, and I suppose it’s been working because we just chit-chat as we normally would on our car rides home. I can’t tell if that annoys me even more, though. Every time we interact, it’s like I’m giving him another chance to tell me, wishing he would on his own. I feel like it’s what Carson would do.

Then again, would I really know what Carson would do? Avery would probably know better what he would and wouldn’t do, I’m sure.

My bag drops to the bench of the locker room with a loud thud. Everything about them being together is just grating on my nerves. I do something I know I probably shouldn’t. Carson not mentioning anything about them and their past, mixed with me seeing them happily interact, is too much. I’m shaking with anger every time I think about it.

I walk into the gym where he’s working out with some of the other teammates who decided to stay behind. Avery being one of them. And of course him and Carson are huddled by the weights, chatting about something. I come around to them, Carson’s hoodie in hand.

“Here, you left this at my place,” I say, pushing it out towards him.

“Oh? You didn’t have to…” Carson says, his face a little flushed. I’m sure he’s thinking about what I did with it the other night, and that fills me with a quick sense of satisfaction.

But when I look over to Avery, his brows are raised for a bit before he schools his expression back into coolness. That just sends me right back into a state of annoyance. I’m not sure who I’m seeking a reaction from here: Carson or Avery.

Maybe it’s both of them.

“You still have that old thing?” Avery chuckles. Old thing? Oh, so has he given it to Avery as well? I could’ve been wearing a hoodie of Carson’s that Avery also once wore. How horrible would that be? I’m trying very hard not to let my face go red, thinking about it.

“Uh, yeah..It’s a nice hoodie.” Carson says, grabbing it from me and tilting his head a bit.

“Yeah, it is. I was thinking about keeping it.” I say, “You could have.” Carson mumbles, furrowing his brows a bit at me.

Avery is just standing beside us, observing what’s turned into quite an awkward exchange. I swear I feel like he’s trying not to laugh. I’m not even sure what I was trying to achieve anymore. But I feel like a dog trying to piss on his territory, and that makes me kind of embarrassed now that I’ve done it.

We’re not even together. I don’t even know if we will be together. It’s exactly because of situations like this. I should be on the ice right now, and here I am humiliating myself instead.

“Right. Well, I need to get back to the ice. I’ll see you later, Carson.” I say, and Carson nods.

“See you, Julian,” Avery says with a smile, and I don’t say anything but give him a tight smile in return before leaving the gym.

The entire time I’m practicing my program, I could only think about how dumb that was. Did it feel a bit good in the moment? Yes! But afterward, I felt even more silly. Also, I liked that hoodie; I had no intention of returning it.

So not only am I out of my favorite hoodie that smells like him, but now Avery probably thinks I’m a child. I wonder if he would’ve done something like that. Probably not, seeing as he likely has more romantic experience than me too.

“Hey, you ready?” Carson says, snapping me out of my black hole of thoughts.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” I mumble.

He takes my bag off my shoulder like he always does, but it annoys me this time, and I pull back. Carson looks at me, his face pinched in shock, but I just head straight toward the exit. The parking lot is mostly empty by this time.

I’m walking far ahead of him, leaving him behind, and I know I’m being rude, but I can’t help it. It’s getting under my skin thinking about how Avery probably also spends more time with Carson. He has, and he is currently now that they work together.

I want to vomit.

I clench my jaw as I wait by the car door.

“Julian, alright, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”