Page 64 of Melt His Heart

I nod.

* * *

I breathe in deeply, tilting my head back under the fluorescent lights of the doctor’s office. The assessment of my injury went by fairly quickly, and it’s definitely as bad as it looks. She explained that it’s only a sprain, though acute, so it’ll be some time before it’s healed, and I should let it rest. That’s the last thing I want to hear at this point in my training. I’ve decided these last few weeks have been the worst of my life. I’m fighting with my not-boyfriend, I can’t even land a simple axel, and now my wrist wants to go too.

“Are you ok, Julian?” My coach asks, snapping me out of my thoughts, the door clicking shut behind him.

“Yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking.” I chuckle.

“I want to talk to you about something.” He says, taking a seat next to me.

Of course, he does, he probably wants to drop my ass right here and now for wasting his time. Now that would be the cherry on top. I breathe deep and nod for him to continue.

“Is there anything going on lately that you want to talk about?” He says, cautiously.

My eyes widen a bit. I never really had a coach ask me something like that, something so personal leaning. I pinch my brows together, debating if I want to tell him the truth or give some rubbish answer.

The truth sounds too vulnerable.

“Listen, I can tell something is bothering you, and I know we never really speak about anything outside of work, but I’m here for you. That means off the ice as well.” He declares.

“Thank you.” I mutter, putting my head down, “I think I just need to get through some personal things.”

“Hey, that’s ok, it happens, take this time to rest and work through it with Holly if that makes you more comfortable.” He smiles at me.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

“Of course, now let’s get you home. No going out buddy!” He chuckles, and I give him a small smile.

* * *

When coach drops me off at my flat, I unlock the door, cradling my wrapped wrist. Great, now showering is going to be super annoying just like everything else going on in my life. I kick my shoes and flop down onto the couch.

Finally, I can cry in peace.

I do just that, letting the sobs wrack through my body. I said I would never let this happen to me again, and here I am.

At least it’s not right before the competition, and I can recover from this, but still. I don’t know if I will ever recover from Carson Young if I let him go, like my mind is screaming at me to.

And because I love ripping my own heart out, I grab my phone and thumb through Carson’s page, laughing through tears because I’m still stalking him, even now, but I really can’t help it. One of the guys tagged him in a story; it’s just them on the bus heading out to their next game. But my stomach drops when I notice Avery is sitting behind Carson, that ugly feeling rearing its head.

I throw my arm over my face, tossing my phone to the other side of the couch.

* * *

“So what brings you in today?” Holly says, her tone light.

I lift my wrist, which is twice its size now, and wave it a bit, a smile spreading across my face. Though there’s nothing funny about the last few days.

“Well, you might be at the wrong office for that.” She says, and we both laugh, “Just kidding, what happened? Jeez, Julian, looks pretty bad.” Holly cringes.

“Oh, you know, just me getting distracted right before only the biggest competition of my life, so I fell and smashed my wrist.” I thin my lips, nodding slowly.

“Distraction? And what is that?” Her tone is always easy and warm, pleasant.

“Carson, I think I mentioned him briefly before.” I hum, looking out the window solemnly. Saying his name out loud makes me miss him even more.

“You did.” She says.