Page 92 of Melt His Heart

“I won’t say good luck cause you don’t need it,” Carson whispers in my ear before giving a quick kiss on the lips, leaving me blushing as he heads into the stands. I have to bite my lip to stop myself from grinning.

My name being announced rings out through the arena, my body moving on autopilot. I roll the diamond pendant Carson gave me between my fingers before skating out and taking position in the center of the ice.

The crowd claps, but all I can hear is my heart drumming in my ears. This is the moment that I’ve worked for all my career. This is what I came across the world for, though I think I may have found something even better. The music begins, and it’s my new free skate. The judges are expecting my usual classical performance, but Circus by Britney Spears starts instead.

I sway my body to the music; this routine is supposed to be more charming and fun, just like someone I know. So I tune everything out and do just that, have fun. My body glides across the ice with more pep and boldness instead of grace. I ready myself for my first jump, triple lutz, flying through the air and landing flawlessly.

I feel amazing, starting off strong.

The crowd is in love as they clap and cheer to the music. I’m nailing every spin, every transition, and every jump as I realize I haven’t felt anything like this since I was a child, when skating felt like freedom, when there were no expectations, no judges, no scores, just me and the ice.

I’m buzzing with excitement, my favorite part of the performance is coming. I look into the crowd and see Carson grinning down at me. He’s holding a banner with my name on it in Korean. I can hear his voice clear in my mind.

“You deserve this even if you don’t win, Julian.”

I smile widely as I play across the surface to the dance break, propelling my body into my final and most difficult jump of this program, a quad loop. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears even during my rotations in the air.

The blades of my skates kiss the ice with a perfect landing. An incredible performance comes to an end, flowers and stuffed animals litter the ice. I bow and send a kiss to my parents’ direction, they’re both smiling.

* * *

My parents and Carson rush toward me as I come off the ice. I feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I hug my mom first. She hands me a bouquet and smiles, “You did so well.”

“Thanks, mom.” I nuzzle into her.

“You were amazing,” Carson says.

“Great job, Julian!” My Coach pats my back, and my dad nods and clasps my arm in approval.

“You did well,” He says. I bite my lip, nodding. Out of everyone, it means the most coming from my dad. I hope he knows I really did my best, and I was happy with my performance.

I hope that’s enough for him.

I don’t want to cry in front of everyone, but I do anyway, and Carson wipes them with a tissue, smiling down at me warmly. My dad clears his throat. I completely forgot this is their first time meeting him. I grip the bouquet tighter in my hands.

“Ah, Dad, this Carson,” I say as Carson bows to my parents, they both nod.

“Nice to meet you.” He says, his voice a bit shaky. I feel bad this is how they’re meeting. There’s so much going on. But it’s also kind of funny seeing The Invincible Carson out of his element and afraid of an old man. I almost want to laugh.

“We’ll talk later. Get your scores.” My dad says.

“Ok. I’ll see you guys. Thank you, Carson.” He gives me a nod before heading off with my parents back to their seats.

Me and coach head to the kiss and cry for my scores after the ice has been cleared. The judges are still in deliberation. It’s a hard one to tell because while I did have a stellar performance, the fall from my short program still gnaws at the back of my mind. This will be solely up to how well some of the skaters have also done in their programs, and the competition is stiff. Everyone has worked so hard; only the best make it to this point.

My scores are finally being announced, and my throat has run dry, my leg bouncing a bit. Coach pats my back as the scores begin to show on the screen.

“You did it, Julian!” Coach Peters exclaims.

Tears spill hot down my cheek as he hugs me.

I just won silver at the world championships.

I’m an Olympian!

* * *

We all decided to head back to the hotel to rest after such a long day. I just want to sleep; the exhaustion is bone-deep. I pull a fresh night shirt on and walk into the living area of my hotel room, where Carson is waiting for me to finish my shower.