Page 87 of The Dearly Departed

He was good.

Far better than me—that was for damn sure—and I knew it now more than ever.

He deserves to get married, I thought, a pang of sadness stabbing into my heart. He deserves to have a family and a life.

It crossed my mind then that I should leave and get as far away from the funeral home as I could to ensure the safety of the last two people I truly cared about. But logic began an immediate game of tug-of-war with paranoia, as that scared little voice in my head insisted that, if I left, nobody would be around to guard the door and prevent the devil from coming inside.

My attention was snatched away from my jumbled thoughts as our food was brought to our table, and in a silence that was less than comfortable, we began to eat.

Across from me, Shawn kept his gaze cast downward, focusing everything he had on his burger. But there was a crease between his brows, the physical evidence that something was eating away at him, and the little voice in my head told me it wasn’t just his dying relationship with his long-term girlfriend.

Is it me?

I took a bite of my burger, chewing slowly as I looked ahead, observing as he kept his head down and looked at something on his phone. He was trying to look busy, but nothing could hold his attention as he scrolled. Bouncing from one application to another. He shifted in his seat and barely touched his food.

I wanted to ask what was eating away at him. Normally, I would. But it was funny, the way we pulled away from the people who mattered most the moment we suspected we were the problem. As if a momentary, forced distance could soften the blow and make it matter less when they inevitably turned on you.

What if he knows?

Fuck, what would I do?

Maybe he really had followed me to the massive estate in Hollow Cove. He could've been masked, just like me, and I wouldn't have known any better. He could've witnessed Leonard's death, just as I had, and known all this time that the story I’d told was nothing more than a tall tale to save my own ass.

And his, I reminded myself. I'm protecting him too. Him and Isaac.

But if he knows …

I swallowed and turned away, as if to cast away a terrible, intrusive thought before it had the chance to take life.

No. Don’t go there.

"So, um …” Shawn began with heavy reluctance.

Here we go.

“There's something else I wanted to talk to you about.”

I tried to act surprised as I replied, "Oh, yeah?"

He exhaled, shifting his jaw before shaking his head. He was hesitating and notably uncomfortable—troubled even. But he wasn't scared. If he knew what I'd been up to, if he knew about my recent association with Gerald and the things that had happened at his birthday party, wouldn't he be afraid? Ike might not be, but Shawn?

The guy was easily shaken.

He still slept with a night-light, for fuck's sake.

And just like that, Analise and her fear of the dark came to mind.

She was never far from my mind.

I knew about the demons that lurked in the shadows of Shawn's bedroom.

Who was waiting for her?

"You know what? Maybe I shouldn't say anything," he finally said, giving his head a firm shake and grabbing a fry from off his plate.

"No, come on. You can't leave me hanging like that. What's up?"

"Honestly, it's gonna sound insane."