Page 8 of To Love the Stars too Fondly

I was a sad barista once more, trapped in a tower of my own trauma.

I was self-aware enough for that.

“Dude, what did I tell you about Cliff?”

In his car, Liam, rightfully, berated me all the way home.

“It’s unfathomable. I can’t conceive of that level of brazen assholery. I can’t even call him an incel. That’s some ASPD shit, I’m telling you.”

I pretended not to notice how poorly he was watching the road. “Your inner psych major is showing.”

“There is nothing ‘inner’ about my psych major, Terra. Whereas he’s one sprained ankle away from no future, he’s got no prospects after college, no personality except ‘psychopath’—”

“No inheritance and no land, either,” I muttered.

“Make fun of my ranting all you want. You’re the one who fucked a man who thinks it’s gay to wash his ass.” He shook his head, the struggle between paying attention to the road and staring me down clearly a battle for him. “I’m sorry I didn’t jump in. I didn’t even realize anything was happening until Barbs vaulted over the counter.”

I smiled at the visual. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Thank God for her. And thank God for Alex, sounds like. I saw her drag you away.” His impish smile caused me to blush. “Not so bad for a fuckboy.”

My sigh left me slumped against the window. Resignation filled my voice. “She was pretty damn heroic.”

Better than admitting I’d thought about her touch on my chin the entire rest of my shift.

“I’m just saying, she’s a lot better than Cliff.”

I scoffed, lest I admit too much.

Liam scowled as he braked at a stop sign. “You do like girls, right? I swear you mentioned a past girlfriend once or twice, but if I’m just making shit up, I’ll stop.”

“I like girls.”

“I wish you’d be more of a basic bi, then. Don’t bi girls love golden retriever boys? Not fuckboys? Us bi boys certainly do—my husband is adorable.”

My throat suddenly tightened. A debilitating truth rose despite it. I whispered, lest the universe hear it. “I don’t think I like boys at all, Liam.”

He frowned. I shied beneath his judgement. “Then what the fuck are you doing, Terra?”

Thankfully, he pulled into my apartment complex, saving me from dissecting that god-awful question. What the fuck was I doing, indeed.

“It’s complicated,” I said instead. “I don’t know. Thanks for the ride, Liam.”

He helped get my bike out of the bed of his truck. “As your friend and dating adviser, I recommend giving Alex a call. Bet she’d like that.”

“Bye, Liam.” I left him as I rolled my bike to the rack.

I came home to an empty apartment. Mom would be working a double, which meant I was home alone until midnight.

Alone. A vicious word. Alone was when the nightmares hit. Without Liam’s teasing, I felt today’s grime on my skin like a film, compressing me, suffocating me.

In theory, Cliff didn’t know where I lived, but if he knew where I worked, surely he could find my apartment.

I checked my phone. Three unread messages from Cliff.

Bitch. You humiliated me.

Don’t reply. Don’t panic. Tell Alex.