Page 170 of Hellbound

“I know.” Something shifted in his eyes. “You never surrender. It’s…” He stopped.

“What?” she demanded.

“Infuriating.” Her breath caught, but nothing could have prepared her for what he said next. “You’ve done in a matter of weeks what I’ve been too scared to do my entire life.”

Wait.

She stopped struggling.

The wayfinder coins, the missives, his presence in the Vein…

“I killed innocent people so that I could save more.”

Innocents, including her.

Realization slammed into her like a sledgehammer.

“You’re the Shepherd.”

He smiled wryly.

No. No. She knew what to do with evil.

She could counter evil.

She didn’t know what to do with him.

The foundation of her hatred broke.

“How—how are you able to fight his compulsion?”

“I spent my whole life underneath my mask.” His sigh was heavy. “To hide the fact that he can’t compel his own flesh and blood.”

Ksenia stilled.

His mask was survival.

Karsan’s own son was immune.

He had always been immune.

“Then, you’ve always had the power of choice.” Her golden eyes snapped to his. “Every time. Every command. Every person.”

Silence stretched between them.

“Did you ever hesitate?” she said low. “When he called upon you?”

His jaw tightened. “Every single time.” He held her gaze, though it seemed to burn him. “I—forced myself to do it because if I broke, then everything I’d done as the Shepherd would be meaningless…” His eyes turned hollow. “There were even times I’d been forced to kill the very parents of the children I’d just saved.” His hand curled into a fist by her head.

Ksenia’s skin prickled, reliving the fateful night they crossed paths.

If she had met him in the Vein, he would have helped her escape. But in that forest, he’d led her to her death.

The strong line of his shoulders broke as if he’d taken on a physical weight. “I’m going to rot in hell.”

This was what she wanted.

Bohdan was exposed before her. Ksenia had all the power over him. She could make him hurt, as he made her.