Page 68 of Maleen

“You slipped into his mind, didn’t you, Beastie? Are you going to tell me what that was about?” I peer at her out of the corner of my eye and she’s trying to suppress a smile.

“I think that’s one secret I’m going to keep to myself for a little bit.” Her voice is light and full of teasing.

“Don’t tempt me with trying to get it from you. You know I’d love to tease it from you… inch… by… inch, with my tongue… fingers… my cock.”

She gasps and Evander glances behind at us, confused, before continuing to wherever he is leading us.

“It won’t work,” she states adamantly, but even in her mind her voice quivers like she isn’t completely sure.

“Here should be good,” Evander says, gesturing to a few benches near a fountain. Foliage surrounds us, giving us the illusion of privacy, and pretty flowers are in bloom, making me glad I’ve been taking the tonic for these damn allergies.

I plop myself down on the bench, pulling Ravina with me, setting her on my lap. It’s the only way I’ll behave if my anger rises. She’s like my own personal brand of catnip. And now I want to nibble on her neck. Focus, Jesper.

Evander sits down across from us on the other bench and waits, looking nervous as he drums his fingers against his thigh.

Honestly, I don’t even know how to begin this conversation. He wronged me, so shouldn’t he start?

Ravina elbows me in the ribs and stares pointedly at me before her eyes dart to my brother.

Fine.

“Evander, I’m sorry that you decided to betray me and jump into the line of fire after everything I did and sacrificed to keep you and mother safe.” There.

I can feel Ravina sigh. “Apologies are accountability,” she reminds me gently.

Evander sits forward. “I didn’t betray you though. You constantly put yourself in harm’s way with your father, and yes, we were better off for it, but when I got old enough it was my turn to do something to help. You showed me that it was okay to do that. You were and are the male I look up to, Jesper. You have it all. The title, the beautiful female, a brotherhood with males who have your back. Crazy powerful magick. I’m a pixie, Jesper. I’m good at sneaking around, delivering messages, getting into small spaces and thieving. No one wants to employ a pixie for good honest work, so being a part of the Rebels with my crew, helping to protect others like me, like Mother? It’s what I live for, Jesper. It brings me peace, and I can’t see why you don’t see that.”

My heart clenches and my throat closes up. I never thought about it like that. “I would have taken care of you and mother. You both would have never had to work for the rest of your days once the war ends. What if you don’t survive?"

“What if you don’t?” he fires back. “You have a mate and a realm to help run now. And Jesp,” he sighs. “I love traveling the ocean and the realm. Staying cooped up? I can’t do that. Please see where I’m coming from. I really don’t want us to be at odds any longer.”

My fingers grip Ravina’s thighs, reminding myself to stay calm. No bloodshed—you promised, Jesper. “You wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for me,” I tell him, leveling him with a look so serious it could cut through dragon stone.

Evander opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off. “Lord Verlice heard that Mother had become with fledgling again and he got… angry doesn’t even cover it.” I sigh, pushing through the story I never wanted him to hear. “His new mate didn’t really bother with me until then. I was just the firstborn from a mate she thought was dead. Lord Verlice never told her that once a month I would spend a day with my Null mother, a way to keep me quiet. But when she found out, because of his rage due to her pregnancy, everything changed. His abuse got worse, and she despised me. A lordling fae, born from a Null? And she was left with daughters who would never rule? She wanted to have you and my mother killed, but each time I took the beatings in your stead. Until eventually the beatings weren’t enough for her and she did this.” I gesture vaguely to my eye, laughing. “And then you went and became reckless with your life when it’s my job to do stupid shit for the fae I love!”

Ravina holds me, pressing calming emotions toward me as I stare my brother down, his face pale. He was always told that it was an unfortunate accident. I know he suspected my father to have something to do with it, but it was always his mate. My father just let it happen.

“I’m sorry that happened to you, Jesper. I really am, but it doesn’t change anything. Thank you, for everything you’ve done for Mother and I. I will never be able to repay you for everything you have sacrificed. I love you dearly for it brother, but I’m not going to change what I’m doing. I would like your blessing and friendship again… if you can see that it was never intended as a betrayal.”

Ravina squeezes my hand and moves off my lap. “I think you know what you need to do, Jesper. I’ll be nearby if you need me, but I think you should have the rest of this conversation between the two of you. Just please don’t kill each other.” She gives Evander a soft smile and leaves the two of us alone.

I know I’m being stubborn at this point, but how do you let go of something you’ve held onto for this long with so much anger and frustration? So I take a breath and watch as the water trickles through the fountain, trying to rationalize my thoughts.

“I will try,” I start, and Evander’s face turns bright like how it used to when he was still a fledgling. “It might take me some time to let this go, but you and everyone else are right. You are an adult, and you’re capable of making your own choices. It makes me a hypocrite to tell you that you can’t walk the same path as me, but I just want you safe.”

He nods, standing and coming to sit on the same bench as me. Wise, considering I’m still feeling a bit stabby, but not the murdery kind. “Thank you. And I’m sorry for not having this conversation with you before I created the Safir Raiders. But I promise, the males who are with me, they have my back like Talyn, Aemon, and Killian have yours. You should come have a drink with us sometime, hear some of the stories and adventures we’ve gotten into. Get to know them—honestly I think you and Dante would get along great.”

I nod, and we stare at the fountain together. Fledgling steps. “I would like that.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

I’M LISTENING TO THE ELDERS drone on about ball preparations, mating ceremonies, and other tasks a queen should be paying attention to, but I can’t bring myself to focus. My body aches and my chest feels tight.

My leg bounces and my fingers tap against the heavy oak table. “I need to excuse myself for a moment,” I mutter abruptly, cutting off Madame Windwhisper.

I rise to my feet, attempting to be graceful, and my vision swims before me.

“Oh my Fates, Princess Maeven, are you alright? You’re as pale as a ghost!” she says worriedly as Ember grabs my arm to steady me.