Page 48 of Falling for a Footman

“Everything,” James stated magnanimously.

“Everything?” Charlotte asked.

James’ mind raced as he tried to think of what else he should feel sorry about. It seemed obvious that she did in fact think that he should be apologizing for another matter. Or at least explain it.

“I... I am sorry. You seem to be looking for an apology about a specific event, but I have to admit that I don’t know...” James went on. The moment Charlotte released his arm and walked on he knew that his words had been the wrong one.

“You don’t know what you should apologize for?” she demanded. “You really don’t know? There is nothing more to explain?”

James did not say anything because he really was uncertain what she wanted him to say. He had withheld the truth about his identity but other than that...

“Was all of it a lie, James? Our meetings? I knew you kept things from me, but was all of it...” She turned away from him, but he did see how she covered her eyes with a hand. James’ stomach somersaulted in a way that made him dizzy.

Damnation, she thought he might have lied about everything. That he had faked his emotions as well as his identity. What kind of arse was he that he had not realized...

“Charlotte,” he breathed and took three long steps to be by her again and take her into his arms. She let him hold her, but her body was completely rigid in his arms. “I would never... What I feel for you, it’s... I have never felt this way about anyone.”

He was afraid that she was not going to answer. The silence stretched and stretched until it became almost unbearable.

“You were not just using me?” Charlotte finally whispered. She was still covering her eyes with one hand, even though it did not sound like she was crying.

“No,” James said gently. “Charlotte, will you please look at me?” he pleaded.

It took a long moment for her to lower her hand and look him in the eyes. In the graying morning light, he could see the pain and confusion clearly in her eyes.

“I have never felt this way about anyone before,” he stated again and saw that his words finally registered with her. “We have known each other for such a short while and yet I feel that I truly know you.”

Charlotte gulped at his words, but her expression did not betray her emotions.

“The magnetism you talked about... I feel it. Not just for your body, although I definitely feel that as well.” He tucked her closer at his words and he was relieved when she let him, and her hands came to rest on his lapels. “I feel it for your mind as well. I want to hear your opinion on every matter in the world. I want to be quiet with you, I want to... Charlotte, as soon as your father is awake and the hour decent, I will ask him...”

James paused before saying the most important words of his life. He had not meant to when they entered the garden, but he could not lose her. Could never abandon her.

“For permission to court me?” Charlotte tried to finish the sentence.

He could only smile at her attempt.

“No,” he stated gently and strengthened his arms around her. “For your hand in marriage.”