Page 70 of Married to the Duke By Midnight

“I meant look at me for longer than a second so that we can speak as adults rather than you behaving like…” Robert abruptly cut himself off when he realized what he had been about to say. His temper had gotten away with him.

“Oh, I would love to hear you finish that sentence,” Jo seethed, throwing her gloves down on top of the nightgowns.

Robert turned toward the window, watching the day outside. He needed to calm down. He needed his wits about him when he spoke to Jo. But his entire body was screaming for him to hold her tight. To never let her leave the house, let alone this room. All the while, his anger was very thoroughly working against him.

“What?” Jo demanded and turned with a pair of slippers in her hands. “What were you going to call me, Robert? A spoiled child? A silly woman?”

Robert gritted his teeth. He was not going to finish the sentence. He was not. It would not be conducive. It would only ensure that he drove her away; he should never have said it, never even have thought it. It was not true, and yet it was all he could think.

“A foolish, naïve, incompetent, ridiculous…” Jo goaded him to confirm the words.

“A recalcitrant adolescent girl,” Robert almost bellowed to stop her rambling.

He could not bear to hear her talk about herself in such a manner. He hated that her cousin, even for a moment, had made her think so of herself. And that he, Robert, had not done a good enough job of ensuring that this was not the way she saw herself anymore.

“But I didn’t mean it. I don’t mean it,” he hurriedly assured her and gripped her hands that were still holding the pair of slippers, while he bent forward to be able to look into her eyes. “Jo,” he pleaded when she would not meet his eyes.

She glanced at him briefly, then gently pried her hands out from his grip.

“I think you do,” she told him quietly and placed the slippers in the portmanteau with meticulous and measured movements.

Robert plunked down on the bed beside her, his body suddenly heavy with the feeling of defeat.

“I want you to stay, Jo. I don’t want you to leave. I want us to talk it over. To go back to how everything was before,” he told her quietly.

Jo paused for a heartbeat, then quietly continued packing.

“I need to be alone,” she told him quietly. “I can’t think here.”

“Then spend a day by the beach again. Or somewhere else. You have the carriage at your disposal. You can go anywhere. As long as you come back here in the evening and tell me what you have figured out.”

Jo finally stopped packing to look him in the eyes.

“But I am not the only one who needs to figure something out, Robert,” she told him in a low voice.

“I… Jo, I told you that I was sorry for calling you ridiculous,” he pleaded.

“It’s not just that, Robert.”

“What then? I told you I didn’t mean it when I called you recalcitrant – or an adolescent.”

“I know.” Jo was biting her lip as she looked at him. He could see the deliberation in her face, her trying to decide whether she should tell him or not.

“Please, Jo, don’t hold back. Say whatever you want to say. I don’t want this to stand between us. I wanted to help solve the matter with your cousin quickly and instead it has escalated into this farce of a fight…”

He saw the words hit Jo’s face. How her expression close off, and she turned toward her portmanteau once again, shoving slippers and a couple of reticules into it with more determination than ever.

“No, Jo, please, I didn’t mean that,” Robert hurriedly assured her and reached for her arm.

Jo froze; Robert snatched his hand away, and she immediately resumed packing.

“You are entirely entitled to feel the way you do…”

“Why, thank you,” Jo drawled.

“What I am trying to say is, why do we have to fight about it? Why can’t we have a level and honest conversation like we could the other day?”

“I don’t know, Robert. Why can’t we?” Jo asked, her anger rising again, although Robert could not fathom why. She paused only briefly, barely allowing him time to speak before she continued: “Because you refuse to see matters from my perspective. You say you wanted to help me by speaking to the solicitor, even though you knew it would go against my wishes. And when I try to have a fight about it, you call me ridiculous and recalcitrant and then immediately retract the statements, trying to act calm and superior…”