Page 30 of Nicks and Cuts

Was he too polite to tell him to fuck off back to his own bed?

Shannon nodded, his mouth full of food.

“I’ll only go if you’ll be there, and people will want to know how I got roped in.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t going to be there. And I’ll just say I’m staying at your place while I find my feet in town.” Shannon’s eyebrows drew together. “Are you worried people will think we’re together?”

The room became too hot, and he couldn’t breathe. He wanted to lie but couldn’t. “I guess.”

He watched as Shannon glanced away, biting back whatever he was going to say.

Dante needed to say something. Anything. “I like being here with you.” Shannon had been the one to say that whatever happens in the house stays in the house. “And I’m enjoying this…I’ve never been with anyone like this.”

“And what is this? Friends with benefits? It’s not dating. We can’t date if you don’t want to be seen with me.”

Was that what this was about?

“You’re right, we aren’t dating…not in the going out and getting to know each other way. But we are doing that, and we are spending time together in a way I’ve never had with anyone else.” Selfishly, he wasn’t ready for it to be over.

Shannon leaned back and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m also enjoying whatever this is, but I’ve just left a long-term relationship, and I promised myself that this move was to focus on me, and that I wasn’t going to jump on a dick…which lasted about a nanosecond because apparently, I can’t help myself around hot artists. So now I’m in a mess where the roof over my head is contingent on my landlord wanting this undefined thing.

“Looking at houses brought up issues.”

Shannon stared up at the ceiling. “I know I started it.”

“You opened the door, and I willingly threw myself through. I didn’t notice it was making things weird for you.” He’d only been thinking about how he felt.

It was a glimpse at the kind of life he wanted. What he’d been missing but didn’t know how to find without painting what felt like a target on his back.

Shannon looked at him and shook his head. “I mean, yes, it is weird, but at the same time I like it. I like you, and I don’t know how to piece that together.”

“Neither do I.” There was nothing else he could say. “You’re too bright for Foggy Basin…too big for this quiet life.”

“You’re saying I don’t fit in?”

“Put it this way, I figured you’d move on before I was ready.” He couldn’t say ‘give me three months, and I’ll start holding your hand in public’. What if he did that and Shannon still decided he was done? Where did that leave him, right back where he’d been, and he had already changed too much to slot back into his old life.

Had he outgrown himself?

Shannon swallowed. “So everything is weird, and we’re both unsure what to do.”

“If I was in the sandbox I’d tell you to keep moving so we don’t get pinned down.”

Shannon lifted an eyebrow. “I’m not sure that’s helpful when at least one of us likes being pinned down.”

Heat burned across Dante’s cheeks as he tried not to think about Shannon’s teeth in his skin as he moved over him. “You know what I mean.”

“Keep going until it blows up in our faces?”

“Yeah.” What else was there to do? “Quitting if we both like it seems unhelpful.”

“Or is it saving us from pain?”

Dante snorted. “Nothing can do that. Would you have broken up with your ex within the first few months if you knew what would happen?”

“I’d like to say yes, but that would be a lie.” His teeth pressed against his lower lip. “I know the common denominator in all my relationships is me. I just haven’t figured out what that means and how to change.”

Dante sighed. How could Shannon think he was the one at fault? He was smart and funny, and he could cook. “I don’t think you need to change. Any man would be lucky to have you, and if they don’t get that because they can’t see past their massive ego, that’s their problem.”