Page 53 of Haven

I carefully wiped her spine and patted it dry. “They don’t hurt,” Ariel said. “They used to before, but not anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” I told her, quickly rubbing a thin layer of Stencil Stuff on her back. “I know how these scars can hurt, the phantom pains that linger.” I lifted the stencil above her to get a bird's eye view of where I needed to place it. “I hope whatever demon haunted your story is vanquished, and this tattoo is what you need.”

“I think it is exactly what I need.”

With the stencil in place, I got started on the outline. For this being her first tattoo, she wasn’t squeamish nor did she jump. Depending on the pain she’d experienced when getting the scars that painted her skin, it made sense. Pain was something one got accustomed to. None of my tattoos hurt because of the needle—it was people touching me that caused the most pain. It was hard getting my back done because I kept thinking someone would hurt me. I had known my artist for years before I was able to let her work, and I still had a panic attack. Cinder was with me when I got it done. It was embarrassing having my sister there to comfort me, but it helped.

It took almost the entire four hours to finish the outline. Some of the scar tissue was difficult to tattoo, but I did my best to get it done without hurting her. She said she was fine, but trauma was odd and could be triggered at any moment. I didn’t know what might set her off, so I didn’t want to take any chances.

“Alrighty, I’m done with the outline. You can look at it.” She stood up and walked to the full body mirror, craning her neck to look at the art on her back.

“Wow. I am already in love with it.”

“Perfect. Have someone put a light layer of healing ointment on it and make sure you wash it when you get home. We can schedule the second session in about three to four weeks to give this enough time to heal.”

“Perfect. Three weeks should be good? I'll DM you a date!”

“I’ll see you then, let me know if you need anything else.”

I missed Hades. It was nice being around a woman that wanted me instead of being here with constant reminders of the two women I couldn’t have. She was only an hour away, but she was a doctor. A gorgeous, educated, busy doctor and that meant she couldn’t spend all her time with me.

ME

I miss you.

HADES

I miss you. Let me see that gorgeous face.

I snapped a picture and sent it to her. Was this how schoolgirl crushes felt? Only this feeling was more explosive. Yes, we skipped all the bases, but it didn’t matter because I never caught feelings like this, especially after a hookup. Hades gave me hope that I could have a normal life without the pressure of my sister or being a Viper.

I was thinking about leaving. It might not happen, but if I wasn’t in Briarwood, I could have freedom. I wouldn’t have Cinder breathing down my neck. I’d be able to love whoever I wanted. It was a nice fantasy, except for the fact that my heart wouldn’t let go of the women I couldn’t have. Maybe Hades would come with me. Maybe it would be enough, just her, and I could be happy. It was insane to think about.

The Vipers were my home, but sometimes it felt suffocating. I was my own person who deserved to be seen as more than just someone they needed to protect. Maybe I needed to talk to Izzy about my conflicted feelings.

Reba was in the kitchen at the clubhouse when I walked in. She was like a club mama bear. Some clubs had club bunnies, but the Vipers? We had Reba. She was pushing sixty-five, gave the best hugs, and even better advice. She listened to me without running back to my sister like some of the other girls. That was what I needed.

“Hi, Mama Reh,” I chimed as I stumbled into her kitchen.

“Hey, sugar bug,” she bellowed. “How you feelin’? Those bruises healing?”

I arched my brow, taking the cup of coffee as she slid it my way. I would never understand how she did it without the coffee tipping over. “How do you know about those?”

“I know everything.”

“They’re healing well. I like how they look, but please don’t tell Cin.”

“Sugar bug, your secrets are safe with me.”

I sipped the hot coffee, moaning as the perfect mix of hazelnut and cream hit my tongue. “This is why you’re my favorite Viper.”

“What’s on your mind, sugar bug?”

I sighed, drinking more of it while finding my words. “I’m going to leave.” Reba’s disbelief was evident. “If I’m not here, Cinder won’t be worried about me all the time and she can focus on the club. Plus, that way I can live my life how I want to.”

“Instead of leavin’, why don’t you just take what you want?” Reba asked, drying off some glasses. “You want Widow and Vesper, take them. Make them yours. They can protect you and love you. If they break your heart, then Cinder will kill them and move on with life, sugar bug.”

“You want Cinder to go on a rampage?”