Page 50 of The Challenge

Apprehensively, I nodded. “Yeah.”

He opened his arms and stepped forward, enveloping me in his embrace. At first, I stiffened. Within a few seconds, though, my body began to relax. In my father’s arms, the tears that had threatened when I was back in the car finally fell. For a moment, I was someone’s daughter again, able to return to a piece of my family I’d pretended was dead. I knew this comfort was fleeting, but I cherished the feeling before it inevitably left.

“How have you been?” I asked as he released me.

“I know you think I’m a bad person,” he said. Not really a response.

Staring down at the ground, I muttered, “I never said that.”

“But you haven’t wanted to see me for so long. What else could I assume?”

I looked up. “You can’t blame me under the circumstances, Dad.”

“I don’t blame you, but there are so many things you don’t understand, Chloe. The situation with your mother and me wasn’t black and white.”

I needed to steady myself for this conversation. “Can I sit?” I asked, walking into the living room.

“Of course.”

Settling myself on the couch, I crossed my legs and waited for him to speak.

“My marriage to your mother was already over by the time she was diagnosed. I know you think I deserted her once she got sick, but it wasn’t like that.” He paused. “Our troubles started long before, back when you were still at home, even. We really tried to make it work for you and your sister.”

This was the first I’d heard of any marital troubles that early.

He sighed. “Things with us got progressively worse over time. Looking back, I don’t know if some of the changes in her personality were related to the dementia. But at one point, she didn’t want me to touch her anymore. That became the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was very difficult. I was lonely and depressed and stayed that way for many years.”

The sadness in my father’s eyes told me this wasn’t easy for him to admit. As children, we tend to not see our parents as humans, but as heroes whose job it is to make our lives comfortable. I’d never particularly wondered about my father’s happiness, only how his existence served to make me feel safe and happy. Realizing my selfishness was eye-opening.

“At one point, your mother told me she was attracted to someone else but wouldn’t tell me who. She said she’d been fantasizing about having an affair with him.”

My eyes widened. “Mom?” That didn’t sound like her at all.

“I’m not telling you this because I want you to think negatively of your mother. I just need you to know that for a long time, I did fight for our marriage. Ultimately, though, it wasn’t salvageable.”

“Do you think there was really someone else, or was she starting to lose it and making stuff up?”

He shook his head. “I honestly couldn’t tell you, Chloe. Just know that she became impossible to live with, and we separated before anyone knew what was really going on. I’ll always love your mother. She gave me some of the best years of my life before things changed. She also gave me you and your sister, and for that, I’m forever grateful.” He came over to where I was sitting and reached for my hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t been stronger. I couldn’t get myself to sort through all the stuff in the storage unit. That burden should never have fallen on you.” His eyes glistened.

I’d assumed he simply didn’t care, not that he’d found it overwhelming or impossible.

“I’m handling it fine,” I said. “I just need time.”

“I know I put pressure on you to come home to sort through everything. I think on some level that was partly to get you here. But now that you’re back, take your time. I’ll pay for the storage for as long as we need it. I’m sorry if I rushed things unnecessarily.”

“Well, I can’t take forever. At some point, my job is not going to be okay with me working remotely, and I’m going to have to get back to Chicago.”

“When you need to leave, let me know, and I’ll find a way to take care of the rest.”

That didn’t work for me; he wouldn’t know what to keep. “It needs to be handled carefully, Dad. I’d prefer to see it through to the end. There are things I don’t want to lose. And I don’t know if you can distinguish what’s important and what’s not.”

He nodded. “Okay. Well, you tell me if you need my help.”

“Okay.” I bounced my legs and looked around, forcing myself to soak in my dad’s new world for a moment. These white couches would never have flown in our house. My sister and I would’ve messed them up in two seconds. And the fancy artwork on the wall? That must’ve been Courtney’s doing.

Despite how foreign everything felt, I was happy I’d come, though I still had adjusting to do. Lord knows I wasn’t ready to meet his new wife. But at least Dad and I were speaking again. And I’d faced one of my biggest fears. Somehow Evan always knew how to get me—and always in a way that made me stronger.

“Courtney would love to meet you,” Dad said, snapping me out of my thoughts.