Page 53 of Playing with Fire

“Yes, please,” a woman replied. Maybe the mysterious self-defense teaching Amanda?

“One moment, please, Officer…?”

“Hitchenson. Amanda Hitchenson. Good work with that gorgon yesterday, Miss Gardener.”

“Thank you. Perky told me he was enrolling me in your class?” I gave Quinn a kick, and the police chief grunted. “Quinn, your phone was ringing. I answered it for you. There’s a nice lady named Officer Hitchenson wanting to speak with you.”

He groaned and reached for his phone. “Thanks, Gardener. I’m awake, Amanda. What’s wrong?”

After several moments, Quinn’s eyes widened. “She’s a what? No, no. I heard you the first time. Okay. Did you find out why? When? I don’t really care how.”

The silence stretched on, and Quinn rubbed his temple with his free hand while listening to Amanda. When he finally hung up after a few incredulous words and a strained goodbye, he threw his phone across the room. It bounced off the bathroom door and splashed into the toilet.

“Wow. Nice aim. You’re going to need a new phone there, Chief.” Hoping to rescue the device, I scrambled out of bed and peered into the toilet bowl. The phone’s display was dark and cracked. “You killed it.”

“My deranged ex-wife decided to snort gorgon dust, became one, and is, and I quote, ‘She’s looking to breed and picked Gardener to be the mother.’ She petrified three police officers and was recorded making a promise you would like making babies with her. It doesn’t appear the officers contracted the gorgon virus, fortunately.”

I returned to the bedroom and gaped at Quinn. “Excuse me. What?”

“My ex-wife wants to have babies with my girlfriend.”

All right. I could handle the discussion like a mature adult. I would not laugh. I would not, under any circumstance, laugh. I wouldn’t giggle, either. “That is not something I hear every day. I think I need a new life. Have you thought about running away? Once I cash the check in my wallet, I think I can get us anywhere. Ever been to Hawaii?”

I would not laugh, I would not laugh, I would not laugh. I really wanted to laugh.

Quinn’s sigh broke me, and choking on a giggle, I ran into the bathroom and fished his phone out of the toilet. I set it on the vanity and washed my hands so the running water would cover my mirth.

“Hawaii is too easy to reach. Someone might find us. It’s not that funny, but you’re welcome to come laugh in my face if you want. I’m not the one she wants to sleep with. She wants to have babies with you.”

I collapsed against the sink and giggled until I cried. “I’m so sorry. Panama?”

“Also easy to reach.”

“Timbuktu?”

“That’s a bit more remote. I’ll think about it.”

It took me several minutes to regain any semblance of control. “Quinn, your ex-wife wants to have babies with me, your girlfriend. Me, your girlfriend.”

“You make it sound really bad when you say it that way, Bailey.”

I straightened, wrapped Quinn’s broken phone in a towel, and brought it from the bathroom, presenting it to him. “I think it needs a funeral.”

“You even gave it a funerary shroud.” Quinn unwrapped his phone, sighed, and set it and the towel on the nightstand. “That’s the second one this month.”

“What happened to the other one?”

“It had an accident.”

“A Quinn-created accident?”

“That phone’s death was entirely your fault. If you hadn’t almost died in a shitty hotel, I wouldn’t have thrown my phone.”

“You need to stop throwing your phones, Quinn. That’s a bad habit.” I sat on the edge of the bed at his feet and gave his leg a slap. “There’s only one question left.”

“I’m not sure I want to know what this question is.”

“Who would be the father?”