Page 54 of Playing with Fire

“I was right. I didn’t want to know what the question was. In fact, I don’t want my now-a-gorgon ex-wife anywhere near you, my girlfriend. I definitely don’t want two gorgons near you, my girlfriend.”

There was only one way it could possibly get any worse, which meant I needed to tell him. “Unless she wants you to be the male gorgon.”

“Bailey Gardener, that is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard you say. Worse, she was crazy before she became a gorgon, so you might be right.”

Since I’d already taken one dive into horrible, disgusting yet hilarious waters, what was one more? “Since I’m immune to gorgons, if you become a gorgon, would you still need a female gorgon, or could we make all your little gorgon babies without help?”

I was a terrible person for laughing, thus earning being kicked off the bed. I hit the carpet and rolled, clutching my sides.

“You just had to go there, didn’t you? You really had to go there.”

“I-it’s important,” I choked out.

So much for not laughing.

“Becoming Audrey’s gorgon plaything is not on my list of things to do before I die. However, if you’re offering to become the mother of my little babies, I’m definitely interested in hearing your offer. How much practice do you think we need? Do I have to marry you before we practice some more? It’s important.”

I laughed so hard I cried. “I’m not sure I could handle you as a gorgon. Gorgons have breeding seasons and become sex fiends. I’m not sure it would be possible to contain you if you have an enhanced sex drive. This is a very serious issue, Samuel Quinn.”

“I’m so glad you find this situation so funny.”

I howled my laughter. “I can’t help it your ex-wife wants to have babies with your girlfriend. And I thought I had the worst luck.”

“You’re never going to let this go, are you?”

“Depends. Will I have to compete with a gorgon harem to keep you? If so, damned straight I’m never going to let this go.”

“Are you going to kill me if I tell you that I find your jealousy very attractive?”

“Oh, good. Then you’ll be turned on when I get around to scolding you for running off with my ex-boss.” I giggled, got to my knees, and peered over the edge of the tall bed. “That really did piss me off. She left me on the worst day shift ever.”

“Ironically, I was asking her for relationship advice.”

My brain slammed on the brakes. My train of thought plummeted right off a cliff. “You what?” Was Quinn trying to kill me with laughter? “What sort of idiot asks a faery high on pixie dust for relationship advice?”

“I never said she was high on pixie dust.”

“Quinn, she’s a faery. She owns a pixie dust shop. She’s always high on pixie dust. That’s a given.”

“Fine. Yes, I did.”

Could I actually laugh to death? If I could, I would find out soon enough at the rate I was going. “How did that work out for you?”

“I should be mad you’re laughing so hard over this.”

“You asked a faery high on pixie dust for relationship advice. Expecting me not to laugh is unreasonable.”

Quinn sighed. “The worst part about this? You’re right. To answer your question, I got a twenty-minute lecture on the qualities of the best coffees in the city. Then she told me I’d have better luck if I slept with a cactus instead.”

Poor, poor Quinn. I winced. “Ouch.”

“She then suggested I should sit on the cactus so I might fully enjoy the experience, as that was the perfect reflection of her opinion regarding my relationship choices.”

While Mary could be an epic-level bitch, the type to abandon an employee on a busy day, I never would have dreamed she would come up with something quite so rude and say it to Quinn’s face. “Wow. That was harsh.”

“She also laughed for five whole minutes. I know because I timed it.”

I needed to know, even if Quinn got mad at me for asking. “What relationship advice did you ask her for?”