Page 87 of Hoofin’ It

“It’s not against the law if he consents, and Amy can make sure Ernesto doesn’t hurt him.”

“But I can’t play with him. That’s not fair,” Amy whined.

I was going to regret the next words out of my mouth, but how often would I have a vampire indebted to me? Since I had made the offer, it was my favor, and it also served to add a few protections to my parents while they were in Chicago. “Show my parents the sights, take them down to Lower Chicago. Marian and I will slip out a little later to run some errands in my rust bucket. We’ll swing by to make sure they’re okay. Then we can talk, as I expect that’s what why you bothered to visit. And since you came here to talk in person, you probably think my phone has been tapped.”

Ernesto faked a sniffle. “You have bred such a beautiful child.”

Dad’s eyes widened. “You’re seriously calling me out on that old bet, Shane?”

“Have fun, Dad. And if you ask really nicely, Ernesto can give Mom’s virus a boost while he’s at it.” I arched a brow at the vampire. “You are that good, aren’t you? It’d be a shame if I thought you were this amazing vamp for no reason.”

“My dear boy, you flatter me.”

“Get out of my house and take these two cops with you. Remember, Ernesto. Cops. Both of them. Visiting cops. Don’t dump them anywhere.”

“Don’t ruin all my fun!”

“Amy?”

The succubus purred. “Don’t worry, Shane. I’ll make sure he behaves—mostly.”

“No siblings this visit.”

Her purr shifted to a pout. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to wait twelve hours.”

“And if I speed things along a bit for them?”

“If both of my parents don’t consent, you will not help them. Understood?”

“Not fair!”

“Stop whining. You’re almost as bad as my father.”

Mom turned to Dad. “This is payback for the joking we did about selling him to a sex trafficking ring. I hope you know this. This is your fault. March, dear. We will be talking about this later, Shane.”

Surrendering with a sigh, Dad set the meter on my table, snagged Ernesto by the waist, tucked the vampire under his arm, and headed for the door. “I’ll remember this, you rotten manipulative brat.”

“Remember the glitter. This is only the beginning, dear father. Have fun.” I waved, shooed the quartet from my apartment, and closed the door. I waited until I heard the stairwell door slam before turning to Marian. “And that is how you legally sell your parents to a vampire and a succubus for the afternoon and evening. What’s for lunch?”

“A lot of cold Italian food, an appetizer tray, and a gift card for a sushi restaurant, which I presume is the supplier of last night’s dinner. There were written instructions with the card, which I hid in your drawer after the cops came over. I figured you wouldn’t want your sexual exploits public.”

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“Standing in front of a gun pointed at me was a good start.”

“I guess that would support my case.”

“Considering the circumstances, a man brave enough to defend someone who’d just spit on him…”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to discuss that.”

“I’m making an exception this once. I haven’t had a chance to properly thank you yet.”

I dismissed the thought with a wave of my hand and poked around in my fridge in search of cold Italian food, discovering a myriad of single-serving portions taking up most of the space inside. “Spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Sounds good.”