Page 61 of Murder Mittens

I made sure I had the appropriate time off work, and I debated if I’d maintain the ruse. If I finished the job, I could find a day job I wanted to do, one that wouldn’t drive me insane. I could even enjoy a life of ease, working bounties as needed to earn my keep. I could make Sebastian give me interesting jobs, too, the kind where I investigated more than captured.

Investigating appealed to my feline nature, as I enjoyed putting my nose where it didn’t belong.

Satisfied I completed as much as I could, I caught a nap, making sure I woke up earlier than Sebastian. While he slept, I packed the room, tidied, and packed the truck. At a cheery eight in the morning, I put my lycanthrope strength to good use and dumped my lion out of bed.

He hit the floor with a startled roar.

I purred. “It’s time to go, Mr. Mane.”

Sebastian growled, and when growling didn’t give him the result he wanted, he roared at me. “Damn it, Wells!”

“I’m just saying, should I be convinced to marry you, you need to roar Wells at me. I refuse to sacrifice this because I’ve agreed to be a Sumners. You understand the power of my purrs. Should I not get my way, I will unleash the power of my sad sighs and sniffles. Some of which will be real.”

He kept growling, crawled across the floor, and wrapped himself around my legs. “You’re mine, little kitty, and you will marry me. Do not underestimate the force of an upset lion. If you don’t agree to marry me, I will be rendered unable to roar. Only happy lions roar.”

“Well played, Mr. Mane. I see you have been paying attention to my special needs. We need to check out. It is time for you to convince my family I am the happiest of lynxes. After I successfully tended to my lion’s special needs last night, I made a plan I like, I caught a nap, and I packed everything into the truck. I’m driving. I’m concerned your virus might be tapping out.”

“My virus wants me to thoroughly investigate you and make you purr.”

“I will test the amorous nature of lions in the morning once we are in Chicago.”

“I am holding you to that, Wells.”

“You have to survive my family first.”

“Your family is easy. I’ll roar at you, and I’ll allow your automated purring reaction do the arguing for me. And I’ll give you one of my best roars to maximize your purrs. I will show them my true power. I can make you purr whenever I want, but if they need a demonstration of my willingness to indulge in your person, I am a fond fan of public displays of affection.”

“Your plan stands a good chance of working,” I admitted. “My purrs are sacred.”

“I expect your days of being able to easily manipulate your family with your purrs will soon to be over, as my goal is to make your purrs so frequent they’re comfortable with yanking your chain. This will amuse me, as your reactions to having your chain yanked are often spectacular, full of hissing, and attractive to me. However, I’ll be made jealous, meaning I will have to establish my territory as soon as I get you home.”

I could live with that. “I’m going to need extra effort from you if that becomes reality. All I have to do to protect my food is purr a little. Not even the kittens will take anything from my plate at that point.”

“Maybe I should be jealous and keep most of your purrs for me. They’re most magnificent purrs, and I’m a greedy, selfish lion.” Sebastian stretched, hugged my legs, and rolled to his feet, strutting to the bathroom. “I see you have picked what I’m wearing today. It’s a suit.”

“I had noticed you had it cleaned our last day at the spa, and it’s such a nice suit. I’m dressing you for my enjoyment. Also, you’re just as good in a pair of jeans, and I don’t want to murder my family for beholding your complete majesty. They can see you in jeans another time.”

“Do I have enough time for a shower?”

“If you hurry up. Don’t leave me waiting long, Mr. Mane.”

“If you join me in the shower, you won’t have to wait at all.”

I checked the time, decided we had plenty of time before checking out, and hopped into the bathroom, shedding clothes as I went. “I’m only doing this because it was a little rude of me to dump you out of bed this morning.”

“Sure, Wells. Whatever you say.”

In hindsight, I shouldn’t have warned my father I was coming over to drop off his truck and steal some other vehicle so I could head off to yet another spa. A meeting of the itty bitty kitty committee was in session, and judging from the cars, every member of my family had come. One vehicle, a car from the general looks of it, was hidden beneath a layer of sparkly red wrapping paper with a white bow.

I parked my daddy’s truck at the end of the line, grateful we’d dropped everything off at Sebastian’s home, which was located a short distance outside of Fargo.

I’d done a quick investigation of the whole place, and according to my sniff tests, he’d lived in the place long enough for his scent to permeate everything but not long enough for him to have fully settled into it.

“It looks like the entire clan has turned out to see what my father thinks is a decent vehicle for me. That is the only reason there’d be a wrapped car parked in the driveway. Not only is it parked in the driveway, it’s parked in the prime spot in the driveway.”

“The prime spot in the driveway is completely blocked in by at least twenty vehicles, Harri.”

“We’ve made moving cars into an art. That part of the driveway is paved, it doesn’t flood when it rains, it doesn’t get mud all over the car when you put it there, and it’s just prime driveway real estate.” I killed the engine, grabbed my purse, and snatched my overnight bag, which had three changes of clothes and the bare necessities. My laptop bag held my new computer and electronic toys, and it went over my shoulder, too.