Page 62 of Murder Mittens

I carried the prized cheese box, which would soon be emptied of cheese and sausage if I had my way in Chicago.

“They really bought you a car?”

“Well, Daddy saw my junker and got real upset about it, and I foolishly gave him everything he needed to dispose of my junker while taking the keys to his new truck…”

“Your uncle needs to be educated about moderation.”

“I’m still scared to open the other boxes.” At Sebastian’s insistence, the other boxes were in his bag so I wouldn’t try to dodge opening them. “They might be more excessive than the watch.”

“We can run away if you’re not comfortable with this.”

I shot him a glare. “I can handle this.”

“You can handle them giving you a car without trying to dodge it, telling them it’s too much, or trying to convince them you’re not worth what they’ve spent?”

The challenge in his voice ensured I would do my best to cope with any gifts given to me. “I absolutely can.”

Sebastian smirked at me. “Okay. Let’s see this in action, shall we?”

“You’re completely and totally ruthless.”

“I’m a lion. I live to win.”

“You’re stuck with me, Sumners. You have lost this game.”

“Won.”

“Definitely lost.”

“No, I definitely won. This morning, my lynx dumped me out of bed and showered with me. Then I got to feed you at a buffet. It was a slaughter. It’s also the first time I’ve ever made buffet runs for someone else and liked it. The things you’ll do for good barbecue chicken gives me ideas.”

Damned buffets. “We both won at that buffet. It’s not too far from Fargo, too. We could make a point of going now and then.”

“We could make it a weekly tradition.”

“Will our wallets survive that?”

“I’m pretty sure our wallets will survive.”

“Does putting up with you for the rest of my life mean I can quit my customer service job? I don’t want to go back to dealing with Code Red 1D10Ts, Sebastian.”

“You don’t have to deal with Code Red 1D10Ts again if you don’t want to.”

“Are there people who actually want to deal with Code Red 1D10Ts?”

“Shockingly, yes. My younger brother is one of them. He enjoys nothing more than reining in the chaos of a Code Red to a satisfactory conclusion.” Sebastian shuddered. “I ask my mother if she’s really sure he’s actually my brother sometimes.”

“Is he?”

“I am the reason I have two extra brothers now. Apparently, using that line makes my mother hunt my father. The last time I used it, my mother ended up having to care for three lions at one time. She hasn’t forgiven me for it. Two lions are enough to drive her insane, but three at once? I am the worst son she has. I’m very proud of this. I’m trying to see if I can break her so she has to tend to four lions at one time.”

“You could visit her with one or two of your brothers. Then she’d have how many lions? How many brothers do you have?”

“There are six of us, and we’re all within eight or nine years of each other except for my youngest. I pulled that when my youngest brother, at the time, was four. My current youngest brother is two.”

“Lions don’t have litters, do they?”

“Fortunately for me, the woman of the relationship tends to be the responsible party for numbers of kittens born while the man of the relationship is the responsible party for the gender. If you give it your best to make sure we have litters of kittens, I’ll give it my best to make sure we have a lot of girls.”