Page 63 of Murder Mittens

“You want daughters, don’t you?” I eyed Sebastian with interest. “You know daughters are flukes in lycanthropes, right?”

“I might want at least three daughters to dote on,” he confessed. “And I’m hopeful my little lynx likes children.”

“If I start trying to make you poisoned fried chicken because of pregnancy hormones, you only have yourself to blame.”

“Some risks are worth taking.”

I eyed the wrapped car. “What do you think it is? Used?”

“It’s new, probably paid for in cash. I have a pretty good idea what your uncle is currently making, and after some of the jobs he’s successfully managed, he’s pretty wealthy. He could put all of your brothers through college right now and not miss the money. I’m betting all of your brothers are too proud to accept charity, so your uncle is spoiling you because the others won’t let him spoil them.”

“Are you sure you’re not a lynx?”

“I roar. Lynxes purr. I’m fairly certain I’m actually a lion.”

“What is the appropriate reaction to being given a new car? I had trouble accepting the laptop. I don’t want to lose, but I’m not sure what to do.”

“Transform your hands into claws, rip off the paper, and rub all over the car to mark it as your territory while purring. The purring will indicate to everyone you love your new car. You rubbing all over the car to mark it as your territory is attractive to me, and I’m a selfish, greedy lion.”

“Yes, you are so selfish. Completely greedy.” I stared into his eyes, and in my driest tone, I stated, “I have never met a more selfish lion in my entire life, and I have no idea why I put up with you.”

“Remind me not to play poker against you. According to your expression and tone, I am the lowliest of men. However, I know exactly how you handled me in the shower this morning, you devious, saucy wench.”

“That’s just a consolation prize for having to put up with a lion, really. That, plus it was a reward for packing up the hotel room while you napped.”

“I recommend you go the purring route while rubbing up against the car to mark it as your territory. At the very minimum, I’ll be amused.”

“May heaven forbid if the delicate lion isn’t amused.”

“It really should be criminal, yes. This world exists for me to rule it. I’m doing a fairly good job on the ruling front.”

“You can’t be a ruler if you have a boss. And if your boss has a boss, you’re definitely not a ruler.”

“I have to have obtainable goals for the future, else I would become a bored ruler of the world. This is how I fill the moments I’m not spending pursuing you for my nefarious plans.”

“I expect any dresses you put me into to be classy and protect my modesty.”

“You have modesty?”

“Yes. I know modesty is a difficult concept for lions to understand, but I’m sure you’ll learn with time.”

“This is like being humble or displaying humility, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“If I were meant to fly, I would have wings, Wells. Do I look like I have wings to you?”

Shaking my head, I headed for the porch, and as expected, a herd of my brothers stampeded through the front door. I set my bags and my precious cheese box down on the porch swing. “Don’t mess up his mane or his suit. I’m keeping that lion, and he needs to be in good condition. He’s taking me to Chicago for a week. I’m taking more time off. It’s his turn to spoil me at a spa.”

My brothers eyed Sebastian, who followed me onto the porch and armed himself with his best smile.

My poor brothers. Within ten minutes, Sebastian would have them questioning their sexuality. They’d be jealous of me, who would keep the lion. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. “I have noticed there is a car-shaped package parked in the best spot. Is that the offering so I can give Daddy his truck back?”

My twin brothers shoved through the gathering of tall, generally handsome lynxes, and I braced for an onslaught of affection. They delivered, and I got a double dose of brotherly nuzzling before they joined the rest of my brothers in glaring at Sebastian.

The lion chuckled. “I’m not going to stop her from visiting at her whim, and you might even get me to bring her over at my whim instead of hers. I’m a lion, which means I enjoy large, boisterous family affairs, so we would be frequent visitors. Just don’t mess up this suit. Your sister took away my other clothes so I’d wear it for her.”

“It’s true, I did. Lions are fairly lazy in the mornings, so I can make the clothes I don’t like disappear. I picked the suit today. He made it himself. Is the present shaped like a car in the prime parking spot for me? If it is, I need to go mark it as my territory before the lion does. Establishing territory is important to lions.”