Page 59 of Catnapped

“I don’t have any other devils capable of generating holy fire. Think she’s viable?”

“I know she is. If you cultivate the hellfire, I will work the holy fire, and we should be done with that portion within a few minutes. I believe she has incubated the holy fire sufficiently. I suspect He has meddled with her to be so receptive.”

“He would.”

“I really would,” a still and quiet voice murmured. Both Lucifer and Gabriel yelped.

Huh. He really did show up at times. I’d believed that to be some myth, although I’d been aware of the Devil’s enjoyment of startling people who talked about him openly.

“Father,” Gabriel greeted.

Lucifer huffed. “Old man.”

“My beloved sons,” He replied with amusement. “Are you enjoying yourselves?”

“I’m having a great time,” Lucifer admitted. “She’s mine. I’ve claimed her, so you can’t take her away from me.”

“Why would I take away a seed I carefully tended so you might have? You are a silly son. I have waited a long time for this moment, so I thought I would come pay personal attention. Much like your darling, I have played my part in young Diana’s life.”

“You are such an asshole,” the Devil blurted, and the respect in his tone amused me.

“I do try. I find your method of handling the essence transfer to be amusing. I have never permitted a mortal to bite me before, but if you want her holy fire to be of appropriate potency, it will take more than Gabriel’s contribution. You would have been wise to involve Michael, as you wish for her to be your harbinger. I will ensure that her hellfire is balanced. It is no good if she is not balanced by the end. Lucifer, now would be the time for you to wake the violence you wish to cultivate. I will handle the matter of her compassion.”

“Why are you helping?” the Devil asked.

“These mortals have offended the divines of many pantheons, not just ours. But as this falls into my domain—and yours—the other pantheons petitioned to me. I have opted to listen to their petition. These beings do not wish to start a war just against us, but against the others as well. Even the universe has taken note. If we were to become involved beyond this, the End would begin, and there would be no stopping it. This battle must be hers alone. But there are no rules stating we cannot shower her with our favor.”

“Humans are insufferably stupid,” Lucifer complained. “They would wipe themselves out for what? A little power? Some misguided and foolish belief?”

“Do not forget greed,” He said. “Please accept my apologies for my part in your discomfort, young Diana. I strongly oppose the End of Days, and I will not allow for it to happen because I would not act. This Earth and its many children are all my children, even those who do not believe, and I do not wish for them to die out. Not over something like this.”

It took several tries, but I managed to evict Gabriel’s finger from my mouth. “You’re welcome to come to Christmas dinner to help join the party of those out to convince my parents they got it wrong.”

“How amusing. Yes, that would be an appropriate gift to begin healing those old wounds the misguided inflicted upon you. It has been a while since I have crashed one of those parties. I believe I will start with the service. Consider attending the midnight service with these sinners. I shall bring along a few friends.”

“Friends?”

“Ra, who is part of my family now through marriage. He will enjoy helping restore some of the light to the lost. And while they may never become good humans, they will at least be more tolerant of what they do not understand. I do not care if they choose to believe in me or not. That is not my role in this life. Now, as I am far more civilized than these sons I have produced, I will not require you to bite me, although you will drink. This will have consequence, of course. All things have consequence. But my son amuses me, and his goal for you is one of his better ideas. Sometimes, I question why I permitted these children of mine to have independent thought. But then every rare now and again, they come up with a good idea and do their best to implement it. Next time, those naughty sons of mine should ask for help. It will make things easier.”

“You are such an asshole,” Lucifer announced.

The idea of Lucifer, the crowned asshole over all assholes, calling his father an asshole, made me laugh so hard I cried.

Gabriel massaged the back of my neck. “I will bring you extra presents each year for my part in this, as you will have to deal with this often. It is the least I can do to make up for your suffering.”

“Brace yourself, Diana. This will hurt, but not for long.”

The warning would have done me a lot more good if He had bothered to give me any time to prepare. The instant His blood touched my tongue, the world vanished in an eruption of blue and black flame.

More often than not, demons and devils possessed multiple forms. Their primary form, associated with their demonic or devilish nature, served as a warning for the wary.

With a little help from the Almighty, Lucifer and Gabriel had transformed me into something rather tall with four legs, a bulky body, and hooves. Upon closer examination, I determined there’d been some accuracy to Darian’s speculations about transforming me into an equine, although I’d seen Malcolm’s form enough times to recognize I hadn’t been made into a kelpie. I snorted, and a mixture of blue and black flame blasted from my nose.

With no fear of my fire, Lucifer came up to me, took hold of my head, and dropped a kiss onto my nose. “You’re lovely, and my darling is going to be so pleased when she sees you.”

I had mobile ears, and I turned both of them back, stomping a hoof.

“You should be able to talk in that form, although you may find it a little tricky at first. Some catch on right away. The black is your hellfire, and the blue is your holy flame. You will have phases, unlike other demons or devils. When you’re aligned more with the powers of good or order, foul things those are, your flame will burn a brighter blue. When you’re balanced, such as you are now, you will blow blue and black flame. When you are more aligned with the powers of evil, your fire will be black. This will let you balance the situation however you see fit. If a bunch of archangels are running amok and doing excessive good, you can show up snorting hellfire until they behave. If the devils are being excessively naughty, you can correct them with holy fire.”