Page 28 of Whiskers on Kittens

“Do you wish for punishment or rehabilitation?”

I glared at the Devil. “If redemption and rehabilitation is an option, of course I want redemption and rehabilitation. But if they’re enjoying what they’re doing? Hell no. Fuck them to your many hells.”

Lucifer laughed at me. “Smooth your fur, little kitty. I’ll see to it that justice is served in the most appropriate fashion possible. Some of them are borderline.”

“Then deal with the borderline ones as best you see fit.” I picked up my badge, opened it, and checked over the information, which accurately listed my age, some identification number within the FBI, my rank, and badge number along with some random bits of information from my eye color and height to my status as infected and contagious. “Just holding this makes me feel dirty. Have they not looked at my criminal record?”

“Your ‘criminal record’ is a comical collection of petty criminal mischief counts all resulting in community service. As not a single one of your victims came away feeling victimized, all of them put on record that they had a laugh over their incident, and that you’re disgustingly on the up-and-up professionally, the FBI has opted to ignore your record. There is talk of expunging everything.”

I gasped. “No. Not my record!”

Lucifer stared at me with a rather unimpressed expression on his face. “If you don’t get him to do what I want, I’m having your record expunged. Everything.”

As I viewed my criminal mischief record as a work of art, I flung myself at the wolf, wrapped around his legs, and wailed, “Don’t let him do it.”

Easton stared down at me, joining the Devil in sporting a rather unimpressed expression. “Are you being serious right now?”

If crying got me what I wanted, I would do so without remorse, and I stared at him with wide eyes, refusing to blink until my eyes began to water.

“Seriously?” the wolf sighed. “Fine. I’ll invite my family to your house for Christmas.”

“They should come on Christmas Eve and spend the night so we can sneak presents and do all the Christmas Eve celebration things.” I kept on staring, ready to unleash a few tears if it meant I could have a proper holiday at my house.

“All right. I’ll do it, just don’t start crying. Please don’t start crying.”

Satisfied with my conquest, I bounced to my feet, grabbed my phone, and twirled around the hotel room, swiping through my contacts until I found my father’s number.

“Is something wrong?” my father answered.

“Come to my house for Christmas and Christmas Eve,” I sang out, and I twirled around again. “I have captured a defenseless male wolf, and I have coerced him into coming to dinner along with his family. I request the appearance of both of my parents for this most prestigious event.”

“What did that poor wolf do to deserve that?” my father asked, his tone more curious than anything else. “I thought you were contemplating visiting and capturing a lynx.”

I huffed and waved my free hand to dismiss such a thought. “He rings in at almost nine hundred pounds as a hybrid, he’s got the goods in the looks department, and he’s got a badge.”

“Seriously? You hunted a cop? With your record?”

“Dad!”

“Don’t you ‘Dad’ me, young lady. What did you do to that poor police officer?”

“You mean beyond crawl into bed with him naked to test his sanity?” I shot the wolf a rather evil grin, and because I had every intention of teaching Lucifer how to be properly evil, I blew Easton a kiss.

The wolf slapped his hand against his forehead. “What is wrong with you?”

I scowled at him, and as blowing a kiss hadn’t worked, I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Are you tormenting him or dating him?”

“Can it be both? But honestly, I’m tormenting him. He has some family drama that needs to be resolved, so I’m going to resolve it.”

My father sighed. “We’ll be there, if only to rescue that poor wolf from your clutches. Thank you for helping him with his family woes, but please remember that climbing into bed with a man while naked does send a rather specific message.”

Yes, it did, and my virus was thrilled I cooperated with her wicked ways for a change. “His family will be staying in the guest house so you’ll get to invade my personal domain. I’ll put you in one of the cellar suites. I’ll be holding the wolf hostage upstairs. The state of my clothing at the time of holding him hostage is up for debate.” Pinning the phone between my shoulder and ear so I could free up a hand, I rummaged through the box to discover Lucifer had brought two firearms, FBI-labeled bulletproof vests, a pair of stun guns, two pairs of regular handcuffs and two pair of fuzzy cuffs meant for a good time rather than the apprehension of crooks. “Thank you for agreeing to come to dinner. I’m going to be out of town for a little while, so don’t be surprised if nobody is home. I got the vampires watching my place again. My house will be fine. If you spot some angels or devils loitering about, don’t worry about it. They’re supposed to be there. If you want to check on the house and guest house, just give the vampires a call. They’ll let you in and give you the alarm fob you keep refusing to accept.”

My father heaved a deeper and longer sigh. “Are you in trouble again?”

“I’m not. I’ve been informed it is time to use my powers of evil for good, and the FBI wants me for a case. It’s up my alley, and I agreed to play their game. They want to move the poor cop up in the world, so he’s been assigned to keep me somewhat out of trouble. I must limit my trouble to petty criminal mischief as usual. Those are just flavor marks on my record and everyone knows it.”