Page 21 of Lifeline

Xander glanced at Jake. “You can read?”

Jake grinned. “I know, right? I was shocked, too.”

“I’m talking about you, idiot.”

“I mean, so was I.”

Xander stared at him, and I had to bow my head because it didn’t seem like the moment to laugh. Xander grunted. “New guy is safe, you? You’re getting extra duty tomorrow.”

“Aw, man,” Jake said, but he was still grinning as if nothing in the world bothered him.

I was still trying not to laugh, but a snicker behind me made me turn my head. Mika’s green eyes met mine, and we both lost it. The laughter rolled out of me before I could stop it and while I tried to bite it back, there was no chance. Among it, I felt something else rise into my chest, small but warm.

It meant we were going to be okay, or I was in a lot more trouble than I’d believed.

4

MIKA

“I didn’t realize my first time being sent out was going to be rescuing a kitten from a tree,” Aidan said with a sigh as he maneuvered through the brush beside me, with Trev behind us. “I also didn’t know that SAR even rescued kittens from trees.”

“We’re not rescuing kittens from trees,” I told him. Sometimes it was weird to talk with him so normally. Part of it was the fact that I never thought I’d see him again, let alone work beside him. The other part was that two weeks of awkward tension had melted over the past week. “We’re going out to confirm the three reports that there’s a lost hiker out here.”

“How much trouble would I be in if I said that anyone wandering around on their own should either be too good at this shit to get lost, or a complete idiot who shouldn’t leave their front door?” he asked as he frowned up at the cloudy sky. The weather had tried to tease us with a couple of raindrops, but so far, everything was looking clear. That was how it was going to stay as far as I could tell, having checked at the beginning of the week and at the start of the day. Then again, even an expert like me would be the first to say the weather was predictable in its unpredictability.

“Don’t like the woods?” Mav asked.

“I’m not fond of being cold and wet,” he said with a shrug. He reached up and ran his fingers through some branches, which ironically sent raindrops from yesterday down on him, but he wiggled his fingers in the air.

“You’re in the wrong line of work,” Mav grunted.

“To be fair, I was told I was expected to mostly ride a desk,” Aidan said, and despite his bitching, I could hear the lightness in his voice. “You’d think a boy born and raised in a state surrounded by water and known to get freezing fucking cold would be better prepared for this shit, but alas…this is miserable.”

I glanced at Mav, who was looking at Aidan like he couldn’t figure out if he wanted to tell the guy to shut the hell up and stop bitching, or laugh at how ridiculous he was being. I decided to help him along. “Aidan is what I always liked to call a complaining doer.”

“That’s right,” Aidan said over his shoulder as he looked around. “I’ll do what I’m tasked, but by God, you’re all going to hear about it in the process.”

“Wait till you see him have a meltdown over something he thinks he shouldn’t have to do,” I told Mav, who gave me a wry look. “Seriously, if you remember he just has to get his feelings out beforehand, it’s kind of funny. The fit will be thrown, but the job will get done.”

“Stop telling people my secrets,” Aidan complained, and I smiled, trying not to let anything else out with that smile.

A little ember had taken root in my chest since we’d made up and were being friendly and relaxed with one another. Like when he’d casually and, I firmly believed, innocently, stripped down to a tight shirt that showed off his shoulders and arms, and then to a pair of shorts, I had felt my stomach twist with sudden desire.

The reason I had pushed away that lust wasn’t because I was telling myself it was my ex who had complicated feelings for me, and a great deal of understandable anger. Not the fact that trying to go too far with your ex when you had broken up with for a reason was a recipe for disaster. And not even the fact that it would probably piss him off all over again that I had taken the first good vibes between us and tried to make it sexual.

No, the reason I had pushed it away was that I didn’t want to feel disappointment at being rejected again. In the end, even back then, I had believed him when he’d said our meager, barely breathing sex life wasn’t because he was cheating, or because he didn’t find me attractive. That it was because he had that absurd braking system in his head that even when he wanted to rev it, his brain stopped him. That didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt when my advances were shot down, or that aching feeling in my chest because the lack of physical intimacy grew with each day until I felt like I was going to lose all sense of self-esteem or lose my temper.

I’d turned away because of a wound from our former relationship, not our current standing, and I didn’t know what to think about that.

“You know,” Aidan said, and I was brought back to reality, wondering if I had missed anything important, “it just occurred to me.”

“What?” I asked, noting his bewildered tone.

“I have not one fucking clue where I am or where we’re going. Why the hell did you guys let me take the lead?” Aidan asked, turning to look at both of us in confusion.

Mav snorted. “We weren’t; you’ve just been going in the right direction.”

“And since you like feeling like a big boy, I thought it was a good idea to let you keep going,” I said with a smirk. “It’s good for your self-esteem to feel important and capable.”