Page 11 of The Virgin Playboy

Scrambling to slip back into my polo, I pulled the jumper over my head before blowing out a hot breath. “I hope you have a good night Jacqueline. Up until right now, I was having a really good time.”

The walk from her place to the subway train back to Harlem had been the only time I purposely rid my head of intrusive thoughts. I didn’t want to think of people passing by as music. I didn’t want to notice the lovely sounds of celloists playing powerful bellows that normally would’ve brought a smile to my face.

I just wanted to feel nothing, because in the moment I felt like nothing. Or at least nothing that mattered. I could convince myself, it’s just sex, or we just met…but I’d spent nearly a decade here and had never made a connection like that. It just…shattered something. Or maybe it just made me feel like I wasn’t enough.

Jacqueline had been everything I wanted from a first time. Maybe even everything I could’ve wanted in a partner. But in the moment that it mattered, I hadn’t been enough. Or maybe my initial feeling about her had been wrong. But, there was the chance, that there was simply something wrong with me.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Jaq

“Oh, fuck that feels so good,” I moaned, the rose toy that won this morning's choice, tickled my clit into mindless submission. It had been weeks since I'd ruined things with the Oceanic Orgasm, and since then I tried to go out on dates with no luck. One guy would have a litter of kids, or another would just blatantly lie about his height, like I wasn't going to notice.

For a city with one of the country's biggest populations, we by far had the worst dating pool. Unfortunately, that gave me so little to choose from when my goal was just hooking up. No one had really excited me quite like Graham had, but the second he confessed his status, a part of me just seized up.

Who in this day and age was even a virgin, anyways? It all felt like some red pill influenced behavior. Could I have handled things less harshly? Probably. But sex meant different things to different people, and the idea terrified me of someone growing attached to me because I was their first. Been there, done that, refused to do it again. The shitty part was that things were going so well before that. But at least he was honest, because most men didn’t even give you that choice.

After a quick session of solo love, I glanced at my phone to see a few missed messages from Yenory asking if I had any free time to go running. Wiping the crust out of my eyes, I texted back.

Me: Can my ass take a shower first, or is it not that serious?

Yenory: You act like I ain't never smelled you musty before. Just throw on some clothes and take a shower after the run.

Me: Damn, aggressive much. Where am I meeting you?

Yenory: Just get ready, I'll meet you. That way no one else has to smell your stinky behind.

Me: Fuck you, I’m not musty, but the poom poom’s gonna be a little strong because your girl was busy this morning.

Yenory: With a guy?

Me: Does a rose toy count?

Yenory: Girl, hurry up, I'll be there in 15.

Deep ancestral sigh. Guess this meant I was getting up.

***

You know how every friend group had certain roles? If I was the oddball and Carly was the messy one, we all had that one friend that was responsible and called you out on all your shit.

Yenory came out her mother's womb bossy. From the day we all met, she was the one with the plan, having her whole life mapped out since high school. Which in turn worked out because out of the three of us, it wasn't hard to admit that she was the most successful, not just in work but in relationships too.

After dealing with a lot of duds, she snagged her dream guy in a famous baseball player, that was not only hot but an amazing person. And I don't say that lightly, either. That's what always made her so easy to talk to, because it felt like she had this shit all figured out.

Ten minutes in and I was begging for a water break. Damn, it looked like someone had inherited the stamina of her famous husband's workouts.

“Sorry I'm so slow. I wasn't exactly taking care of myself back in Atlanta. The problem was, you have to drive everywhere. That, in part added to my laziness.”

“Mama, you good. I literally never even cared about carbs or anything like that until I started dealing with Avi. It's like I cared about my clients' health, but I was never as involved in that process. It's been nice. I definitely feel better, but you know, it's not my goal to be lithe or anything. I just like that I can run up a flight of stairs without feeling like I'm having a heart attack.”

“Heh,” I said, taking a sip out of my water bottle. “Can't relate…” I joked, as for the next few minutes we embarked on a brisk stroll.

“How are you settling in, at least? It's crazy, I thought when I got married that I was going to be the one having a hard time keeping up with everyone's phone calls and plans, but damn, it's like when I want to hang out with y'all, I always got to be the one planning it.”

“Girl, you know me and Carly are lazy. You been knowing that since the very first day. To be fair, I just moved back. You gotta give me a minute, damn. But to answer your question, it's been good. All the baristas at the nearby coffee shops are already starting to recognize me and my usual order. That makes me feel at home. Oh, and did I tell you? I just got some physical arcs of my book,” I singsonged. Even though I was already working on my next one, it felt amazing to hold it in my hands. For so long, I reported other people’s stories, so it was nice to just open my book and lose myself in a fictional world. For months, I was so sick of it, but now that it's almost out, I fell back in love with the story. Sigh. It was a lot easier to find that comfort in a book than dealing with people in real life.

Yenory had never been a serial dater like me. She tended to tie herself in longer relationships, or none at all. She did try the whole friends with benefits thing, but the problem was that that friend didn’t take long to become her husband. Let's just say she wasn't great at the whole casual sex thing.