Page 35 of The Virgin Playboy

“Okay, one more before I make you something. Can’t have you over here without giving you the whole package,” I started, slowing down the tempo as I began to play A smile and a Ribbon, the theme to Welcome to Derry as she bounced around in her seat to the melody.

“I can’t believe you learned all those songs for me! I feel so honored. But I swear next time, you have to play me something on the electric. I love the sound of electric guitars.”

“Done! If I wasn’t eager to get you naked, I’d play for you all night,” I defended, as she followed me to the kitchen and I whipped her up some Keke Pua’a, something I had to learn to cook here because outside of Hawaiian food, there weren’t many Polynesian options like back home.

“That looks so good!” she complimented.

“It tastes even better,” I filled her plate and we sat at the kitchen’s island. “About today at the workshop. I apologize if I didn't quite fit your test of what role I'd fall into⁠—”

“Graham, stop apologizing. It isn't about seamlessly being dominant or submissive. It might just mean you fall under both. It's okay to have switch-y tendencies,” she assured.

“But you literally just whipped through the submissive stuff, and I'm sure it's hard to be submissive with another submissive.”

“You know what I've learned with my research and experience? That anyone could be with anyone as long as their communication is clear. I admit I'm new to exploring kink too, but I figured what we both get out of it is it's directness and focus on communicating core needs. I've always had to succeed and overperform, not to mention be hyper visible. I find safety in feeling smaller, or at least in the confines of a safe space like subspace. But it doesn't mean I can't be dominant. I would just have to explore what type of dominance would suit me.”

“I've never seen myself as dominant or submissive, unless you count in regards to God. The thought process doesn’t just go away because you’re non-practicing. I don't really think about whether I'll be, like a dominant partner. I just think about being a present one. Sometimes it puts me in the whole nice guy department, but it's not about being nice, it's like showing up in ways that I want to be shown up for. That's why I hate that you go down on me first sometimes, because I feel like I'm being selfish, even though it feels amazing. Because comparing our experiences, I could work harder to match things up.”

“So, one of the things we have to divorce is the goal of chasing an ending. Yes, as a woman, I'd absolutely like to orgasm every time. I feel like I should be just as entitled to it. But sex isn't always an event. It's for joy and bonding, too and shouldn't have the pressure of having to perform it. Sometimes you just want to feel connected.”

“Yeah, but making you climax is very validating for me. Half of my sexual confidence comes from me actually getting to do it. A quarter of it being that I'm getting to do it with such a beautiful, amazing…experienced woman.” The last part making us both laugh.

“Whereas the last quarter I’m anxious like, am I doing it right? Am I pleasing her? Does she like when I do something different? Can I be doing something better? It helps when I'm being talked through it, because I get a sense of what I'm doing wrong⁠—”

“You're not doing anything wrong⁠—”

“Okay, what I’m not doing enough of. Maybe it's the LDS in me that likes being told what to do,” I joked.

“You lean into leading, but mostly when I lead you into it.”

“Jaq, no man is going to turn down a woman telling him to take her to pound town,” I laughed.

“But it seems like you like being put in your place⁠—”

“No, I like when you put me in my place. Big difference. I let you lead more because I'm still learning, and I never want to do something you haven't been given me permission to do.”

“Which is something a submissive also does, because they control which and what happens. Doms just facilitate what they've been given permission to do. But there isn't a definitive strictness. If we decide we want to experiment and it’s not feeling right, we can stop. If we go there and the roles still aren't clearly defined, that's okay too.

Honestly, there's probably more to explore when it comes to switching, because then you learn that you could dominate while still having submissive traits and vice versa. I know media makes it seem kink seem so serious, but with people as silly as we are, there'll be a lot of times where we won't take it seriously,” she confessed as we shared a look and burst into tears. “Like now.”

“Maybe we should freestyle a first time. I'd rather do what comes naturally,” I admitted finishing off my last pork bun.

“Whatever works,” she said, as she excused herself to brush her teeth. I was honestly about to do the same, when she asked if I had bottled water.

“Genuinely, being from New Zealand, I'm used to tap. I knew you were coming over so I made sure to keep some on hand, just in case you didn’t want juice or something. I only ever buy bottled water when I hit up the gym.”

“I just didn't want to overload your sensory issues.”

“Aww, I appreciate that. Thank you for remembering. I put you some in the fridge earlier. I prefer it at room temperature when I'm not working out,” I admitted.

“Your bedroom is the one down the hall, right?” I confirmed with a nod.

“Mmmhmm…”

“Then I’ll meet you there,” she winked, as my dick was getting all excited again. Damn testosterone. When I freshened up, I made it back to my room enjoying the image of Jaq sporting a deep red lace halter bra and matching knickers, looking like a succubus I was happy to die for if it meant I ended the night between her legs.

“Okay, we're jumping right into this?” I said, rushing to unzip my pants.

“This will sound so unlike me, but I'd actually prefer it if you took your time,” she asserted, forcing me to undress slower than I would have liked to.