Page 45 of The Virgin Playboy

“You also didn't answer my question. What are your intentions with my daughter?” he doubled down.

“Well, it's safe to say I'm not after money, if that's what you're asking,” I assured. “My family's farm back home does okay. And I'm very fortunate to be able to study overseas at a prestigious institution with no student debt. As far as my intentions, Jacqueline has all the traits I value in a serious partner. She's intelligent, self-aware, accomplished. Has an amazing stance on social justice. She’s remarkably gifted in her art. Her age was hardly a factor in my pursuit of her, so I'm both privileged and relieved she didn't discount me because of a factor I simply cannot help. If she had, I wouldn't be sitting here enjoying this amazing food. You raised her to be open-minded, and while I can't speak for her, I think we're a good fit.”

“Next time, Dad, mind your business,” Jaq smiled and taunted.

“Plus, I'm moving at her pace. Wherever this is meant to go, it'll be in her hands. I'm generally in love with your daughter, and I can't thank you enough for making her.”

“See that's what you get when you being nosy,” Brenda dismissed. “You, happy honey? Now leave that adorable boy alone, and let him enjoy this soul food.”

“Which is amazing, by the way. You all did a wonderful job on the cooking. I hope you don't mind if I take a plate or home or two home.” As the night went by pretty smooth that. Her dad had even reserved some time to show me every embarrassing video he owned of Jaq, which was enlightening for me. Not so much for her.

She had been the queen and captain of debate teams, spelling bees, dance squads, all while being a too-cool-for-school alt girl.

Slowly, you could see her shift from proud punk to clean cut, as her transition from high school to college and finally into the workforce was very blatant. It was a little sad to see, but still a rush of relief that she had returned back to that side of herself in time. I don't think I would’ve enjoyed a Jaq as that couldn’t cover me in vampy kisses.

We had made it back to my flat place so late, but it'd been totally worth it for all the gifted leftovers. Jaq and I wouldn't be cooking for days with all we had brought back. Finding better containers to store them in, Jaq felt the need to bring up the conversation between me and her dad, something I hadn't even thought about past the moment.

“Hey, babe. I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“About what?”

“Just my dad.”

“Why, I loved talking to your dad,” I gushed.

“Yeah, but he told me he wouldn't put you on the spot, only for him to do exactly that!”

“Jaq, I would be disappointed if a dad didn't go full on papa bear mode when it came to his kids. Especially with his daughter. A good dad never outgrows protecting his daughter. It's all good.”

“Yeah, but I feel like he pressured you to say stuff you otherwise would not have said. It just sucks that you felt like you had to say things to appease him.”

“I’m trying to remember what you mean by saying things that appeased him. I was just saying how I felt,” I shrugged her off.

“Well you definitely didn’t have to tell him that you loved me just for him to validate our relationship. We’ve only been a couple a few weeks, you didn’t have to lay it on thick.”

“Jaq, I didn't feel pressured to say that. I do love you. I am in love with you. I have been for a while, I just…know my girlfriend. Very little unsuspected acts of affection set you off in the opposite direction, and I like this. I want to keep this,” I defended.

“You can’t just tell me randomly that you love me and expect me not to be suspicious.”

“That's why I didn't tell you. I was just assuring your dad I wasn’t using you, I'm just sorry there was an entire room there to witness it. So, I could avoid a conversation like this. Trust me, it won’t happen again.”

“It was just the comment about things being in my hands. Sorry, I'm a little shaky,” as I took her hands in mine and they were trembling.

“Jaq, what's the matter?” It looked like she was about to faint.

“The last thing Hudson said to me was, that if I hung up the phone, just know that my life is in your hands.”

“Oh, my. I didn't mean it like that⁠—”

“Graham, I know you didn't. But it took me back there, even if for a second. That’s why I took so many plates home, because I literally couldn’t eat after that.”

“Listen, Jaq. You don't have to worry about things like that with me. Granted, I have my own trauma, but I love life too much to let anyone but God have my life in his hands. I know it sounds a little preachy, but some things I’m never gonna outgrow.” I smiled.

“It's why I'm patient with you expressing how you feel. It's not lost on me that we started out as fuck buddies, to humans trying to navigate a relationship. But you’re also navigating leaving your trust and safety in someone else’s hands.”

“I swear it’s not you. I just don’t always trust when things are going well. And that’s not your fault, I’m aware that it’s all me. Just know you don’t have to say you love me for my benefit. I trust you’re here because you like me.”

“But I do love you. And I do like you. I know you can love a person and not like them. Or like a person you don’t love, I just happen to feel both. But until you feel really safe, I understand that you’ll always be suspicious about what I feel for you.”