Page 49 of Sweet Spot

I felt my stomach twist with nerves when Bryce turned back to us. I knew his type – not malicious, just a ball-buster. He was probably a genuine friend, just bad at figuring out when he’d crossed the line.

“So, speaking of kids, Lukie-boy, have you changed your stance yet?” he asked, catching what I assumed was a glare from Julian because suddenly he was defending himself to him. “What’s that face for? It’s an honest question.”

“What, no kids for you?” I murmured to Lukas, daring to peer up at him. His eyes were on the menu but I knew he wasn’t reading anything as he responded.

“No.”

“Damn, you didn’t know?” Bryce cringed. “That’s like, his number one rule.”

“Bryce,” Julian warned.

“What? It’s fine. We all have our rules. Like this guy here,” Bryce nodded at Julian. “His is don’t fuck with my work. Even Emmett has one – don’t make me choose between you or my dog,” Bryce said to more laughter. “And with Lukas, it’s don’t even ask me about having kids. Never gonna happen. That was my rule at one point too, though. But things change once you find out that’s a deal breaker for some people.” Bryce turned to me. “That a deal breaker for you?”

I had never thought about it till this moment – this moment during which a dozen people, most of them strangers, were looking to me with polite curiosity, waiting on the answer that I now realized was a resounding yes. Of course, the right move was probably to lie about that, just to save everyone from a potentially awkward moment. Is it a deal breaker? My first thought is to say yes, but like you said yourself, Bryce, things change. I may feel that way now, but depending on the circumstances and the partner I’m with, how should I know how I might feel down the line?

It was a perfectly diplomatic answer.

At the same time, it was probably presumptuous to lie for the sake of Lukas’s feelings – in all likelihood, he didn’t care if this was a deal breaker for me. Because I wasn’t his girlfriend and this wasn’t a relationship. Just hearing his friend call me his girl made him turn into stone, so why did I need to deny a truth I knew well about myself when it wouldn’t affect him at all?

“I think since the day I understood what a mom was, I wanted to be one,” I finally said to instant nods from several other women at the table. It was my first time saying the words but I knew in my heart there were none truer. I smiled faintly to myself. “I probably missed out on several rites of passage in my childhood and adolescence but a mother figure was never one of them. I was lucky enough to have two and they were both amazing in their own ways. They both made me pray that someday, I could enrich someone’s life the way they did mine, and being even half as good of a role model as they were to me. So yes, I’d say I’ve always understood that I’d eventually have a family of my own. Of all the goals and dreams I’ve ever had, that might actually be the one I want most in the end.”

“Yes,” one of the other girls promptly said, relieving me of what probably would’ve been several seconds of awkward silence. “A hundred percent what she said.” Adamantly, she raised her glass. “A toast to mothers.”

“To mothers!” everyone said in that same, bright unison we were greeted with. It was nice, positive moment that I wished we could keep and move past but of course, Bryce was still in search of his answer.

“Damn, Lukas, you hear that? That’s gotta change your mind, right?”

I had no right to care about whatever answer Lukas gave. I reminded myself of that and still, my heart dropped when he spoke.

“It’s not happening, Bryce. End of story.”

“Still? You of all people should want kids.”

“Bryce, stop talking,” Julian said, shooting an icy look that chilled even my spine. And with that, Bryce went quiet but the damage was done. The table was still, silent and several of the girls were sneaking me looks of genuine sympathy, since to them it looked as if my boyfriend had just dropped a bombshell on me. I smiled back to try to put them at ease.

“To be fair, we’re just… friends. Really,” I said awkwardly, glancing at Lukas in hopes of catching his look of relief. But he was unreadable. “So… if any of you thought that was Lukas being a total monster just now, please give him at least some credit back,” I joked, breathing easy when I got a few laughs.

God, this was hard. Meeting the friends without warning was hard. So was hearing that Lukas was decidedly childfree. I didn’t know that, I didn’t know I’d care but clearly, I did and now I needed to get up and get some air.

I was at the end of the line for the bathroom I didn’t actually need to use when Julian ambled by, finally undoing the top button of his white shirt as he leaned against the bar. He stood two feet from me and I wondered if he’d even seen me but then he spoke to me without looking over.

“I’m ordering a drink. Champagne for you?”

My brow twitched with confusion. “You’re talking to me?”

“No. My imaginary friend. He has a drinking problem.”

I blinked at him, confused for multiple reasons. “Why would you assume champagne?” I asked, though that was really my least pressing question.

“I hear you did champagne with Lukas all weekend. Figured you might want to keep it going.” He glanced at me. “From what I understand, you’re good at keeping streaks alive for years at a time.”

The smart remark drew my feet promptly away from the line and to the bar. “Okay. So, what exactly is your purpose here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t tell if you’re being hostile or if you just carry an unfriendly air with you on a regular basis,” I said bluntly. “So since I can’t read minds yet, care to tell me what’s going on? We both have drinks back at the table. I can only guess that you either have something you want to tell me in private or you’re looking to get really hammered right now.”

“It’s the former. I’m not really one for getting drunk, let alone hammered.”