Page 40 of Coastal Runaway

Sunday dinner that week felt too normal. My dad ordered a buffet of Mediterranean food and got a two-tier cake so that everyone could sing Happy Birthday to Nolan and I. We sat around the table and laughed without fighting or tension.

It felt like just maybe we were reaching a rhythm where Luke and I could co-exist in peace.

“I know I already gave you your big birthday gifts,” Dad addressed Nolan and I, “But I have something for each of you.” He left the dining room and returned a few minutes later with two boxes covered in black-and-white striped wrapping paper, topped with gold bows. One was large and square, the other was the size of a ring box.

As soon as he handed me the small box, I knew what it was. Before our mom died, she set aside family heirlooms for each of us to be gifted on our twenty-first birthdays. My mother had each gift inscribed with a message specific to every kid, along with a note explaining its significance.

Owen was gifted a vintage Rolex watch that belonged to our grandfather, Ryleigh was gifted a compass that belonged to our great grandfather, and Aiden was gifted an antique wrench, which had an unknown origin but was passed down to different family members for generations.

Somehow, even though we were all young when she passed, she managed to pick out gifts that represented each of us in the perfect way. I had been dreading receiving this gift ever since we learned about the tradition on Owen and Ryleigh’s twenty-first birthday.

My hands trembled as I ran a finger over the meticulously wrapped box. I looked up to find Nolan staring at me.

“Ready?” He asked, nodding towards the box. I nodded.

I let Nolan rip into his first, not having the courage to open mine yet. He tore off the wrapping and looked into the box. He reached inside and pulled out a stack of records. On top of the first record was a written note.

“Nolan,” He cleared his throat, “my sweet, energetic boy. I am sorry that I am not there with you for this special day. I wish so badly that I could see the man that you have grown into. Even at only four years old, you love so loudly and with your whole heart. I just know that you are going to grow up to be the life of the party; making everyone you meet smile with your contagious laughter. I am giving you the record collection that I started in college. I know that it is not as old as some of the other gifts, but I wanted to share my love of music with you so that you can continue to spread that joy to your kids someday. I hope that you fill your home with this music and never lose your love for life. I love you with my whole heart, Mom.” Nolan swiped at his eyes as he finished reading. “This is awesome,” he said with a shaky smile.

Everyone turned their attention to me. I looked down at the box, and with shaky hands, I opened the wrapping.

There was a small velvet jewelry box inside. I lifted the top slowly and gasped as I took in a stunning gold locket on a dainty gold chain. It was oval, a little larger than a quarter, with small ruby flowers embedded into the front. On the back side was an inscription: Fly free, and let the others flock to you. A small folded piece of paper sat beneath the locket. I unfolded it and took a deep breath.

Keegan,

My free spirit. This locket belonged to my grandmother. You never got the chance to meet her, but my god, would she have loved you. You share the same strength in everything that you do.

I see the way that you take on every new challenge in stride. The way you draw people in. You are a light, baby girl. You are the sun and everyone orbits around you. I know that this is going to be the toughest for you. You feel everything so deeply, even at such a young age.

Don't run from your feelings; embrace the love in your heart because it is a feeling that not many people get to experience. I hope that Nolan can teach you to love out loud, and I hope you can teach him to feel deeply.

I love you with my whole heart,

Mom.

I ran my fingers over her handwriting as the tears fell. Placing the note on the table, I plucked the locket out of the box and opened it. I broke into a sob while taking in the pictures.

On one side of the oval locket was a picture of my mom and her grandmother. The picture was grainy and my mom looked to be about ten years old. She was sitting on her grandmother's lap in front of a Christmas tree; both women smiled ear to ear with laughter.

On the other side of the locket was a picture of my mom and I that I’ve never seen before. We were laying together in the hospital bed that was in our living room after she transitioned to hospice care. My head was on her chest with her fingers in my hair as she hugged me tightly.

That pushed me past my limit; I dropped the locket on the table and did what I do best—I ran. I ran out of the living room and right out the front door. Realizing that I couldn’t actually leave, I hoisted myself onto the hood of Baby Blue.

Everyone always assumed that I named this car after the obvious color when I chose it after I passed my driving test, but in reality, it was named for my mom. I once asked my dad what his favorite thing was about her and he said he was always drawn to her baby blue eyes.

The moment that I saw this Jeep, I knew I had to have it. Sometimes when I just need to think, I’ll come out to this car to feel closer to her. I sat on the hood and let the tears fall, embracing my feelings instead of pushing them down, like my mom told me to do.

My mom’s letter made me realize that she knew exactly who I was going to grow up to be. She knew that I was going to push everyone away in order to cut off the feelings that consumed me. I kissed my pointer and middle fingers and pointed them to the sky with my eyes closed, a silent I love you as I took a deep breath and centered myself.

I felt the car shake slightly and quickly opened my eyes to the sight of Luke and Nolan climbing onto the car hood on either side of me. We barely fit, but they squeezed in close, looping their arms around my shoulders. We sat there, wrapped together, embracing the silence as more tears sprang to my eyes. I didn’t realize how lost I was without the three of us together. Right there, in that moment, with my two best guys at my side, it finally felt right.

nineteen

Luke

Ever since the twins' birthday, things were civil. More than civil, they’ve been normal. It’s as if the note accompanying Keegan’s gift unlocked a part of her that was buried deep. Nolan, Keegan, and I had spent practically every moment together for the past two weeks outside of classes and practices. Hell, I even went to my first college football game to cheer on my best friends.

Things were good.