Page 74 of Coastal Runaway

“Most of it, I think.”

“Great.”

She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close, “what you don’t understand, my little Keegan, is that you light up rooms when you walk into them. Just like mom did. People want to be around you. You push them away because you don’t think you deserve it. But, I’ll let you in on a secret,” she leaned in and whispered, “you deserve all of the love in the world. But if you can’t open your heart up, even to yourself, then you’re going to miss out on the best parts of life.”

We sat there for a while. Ryleigh told me some stories about our mom and I told her all about Luke. While she knew Luke as a child, Ryleigh was always a free spirit who would go off on her own. I thought she left us behind, but she was probably the only one of us who ever really felt free.

“So you broke up with him because his asshole dad said you weren’t good enough?”

“We weren’t like technically official⁠—”

“Don’t give me that,” she raised her hand at me, “do you love him?”

I didn’t even have to think about my answer, “so much it hurts.”

“Then why not figure it out together?”

“Because Luke would choose me.”

“And that's bad because?”

“Because he deserves to choose himself and the future he has been fighting for. And if I love him I shouldn’t stand in his way.”

“That’s sweet of you Keegs, but I also think Luke deserves the right to choose his future for himself. With or without you.”

I let that sink in. I knew she’s right, but if he loved me back then he would’ve chased me. Eventually, we peeled ourselves off of the floor and drove home to the one place that I hadn't returned to in three years, tucked into the suburbs of Hartford, Connecticut.

thirty-three

Luke

I had been wandering around for four days unable to function.

I missed Keegan.

I missed her smile, her laugh, her sarcasm. I had never met someone who was as infuriating as her in my entire life, yet without her it’s like a piece of my soul was missing.

I was pathetically checking her Instagram feed every ten minutes hoping that I would get a glimpse of her. Confirm that she was okay, but there hadn’t been a post in days.

Maeve came up with a plan and set it into motion that first night, but I was given strict instructions not to leave the house. I was going stir crazy. I think I watched She’s All That at least ten times. I kept pacing the halls hoping that Keegan would call or walk through the door.

Nolan had mostly avoided me and my antics since the night Keegan left. We hadn’t talked about it and I gave him his space. Aiden was over both of us. He spent most of the time out in the garage working on a new project and stated that he didn't want to be bothered.

A knock sounded at my door. I walked over and opened it to find Nolan standing in the hallway with his hands propped against the door frame.

“Hey,” he said, “can I come in?”

I nodded and opened the door further. He sat in the desk chair across from my bed but I remained standing, arms crossed.

“I owe you an apology,” he said, “actually I owe you both an apology but Keegs won’t answer my calls.”

I let out a breath and dropped my arms, “yeah, I think I owe you one too,” I sighed, “look, I’m not sorry for falling in love with her. I have loved her for longer than you will ever understand. But, I am sorry for hiding it from you.”

He nodded, “I didn’t handle it the best.”

“Well, if I had walked in when you did, I probably would’ve freaked out too.”

“I was in shock, although looking back, it isn’t as shocking as I thought.”