Page 90 of One Reckless Moment

“Hey.” I waved and tried to move past him but he stood in my way.

“You must be so proud of your guy. The pro circuit is a big deal.”

“I’m so proud of him,” I said with a soft smile, hoping that he was done talking to me so I could escape to empty my bladder. I also just simply had no interest in talking to him.

“I’ll give you some advice,” he said, taking another step toward me, forcing me to take a step back.

Funny—I didn’t ask.

“You guys are young, and that kid”—he pointed at the crowd—“has a ton of potential. He has the face that sponsors will pay a lot of money for. Don’t hold him back from that.”

“I’m not holding Cash back from anything,” I snapped defensively.

“You may think that’s true, but I’ve seen this story time and time again. Young buck gets married and thinks he can handle it, only to get sucked into the life and end up blowing it over the women throwing themselves at him every night. Is that what you want for yourself? For him?”

“My marriage is none of your business.” I stepped around him and he let me this time. I didn’t need a lecture from someone who had absolutely no idea about Cash and me.

“Don’t come crying when he cheats on you because you trapped him into marriage. I warned you.”

I pushed into the bathroom without looking back. He might not have known it, but Brian was poking at the one thing I was the most insecure about. Cash Leonard did not choose to be with me. We both got trapped in this marriage due to our drunken decisions. We didn’t have this long love story that everyone was led to believe.

A month ago, the man could barely look me in the eye.

Two months ago, we barely spoke.

Eight years ago, he passed on the chance to be with me.

I didn’t think Cash would cheat on me, but what if he learned to resent me because he never wanted to give up his lifestyle?

What if I let myself fall madly in love with him and then he filed for divorce anyway so he could have the freedom to travel the country with no responsibilities?

That was what he wanted when he started the summer. He wanted to get out of Ashton Creek to explore and make something of himself. He had never intended to make himself a husband.

This was all too much.

When I left the bathroom, I went searching through the crowd. My head was spinning and my chest felt tight. I needed my anchor—I needed Cash. I rose on my toes to peer over the bar and spotted Cash standing up against it surrounded by women. My heart sank as I took in the scene.

He wasn’t doing anything wrong and was barely giving them attention, but what if he wanted to? Was he with me out of pity like the beginning of the summer? Just so other men didn’t touch me?

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I turned and beelined it back to the table. Buck and Tweety eyed me skeptically when I sat in my chair with a huff but they didn’t comment on my mood shift.

The intrusive thoughts running through my mind threatened to consume me. I basically had two options: continue my relationship and risk having my heart broken, or continue with the plan and get divorced. One option left me vulnerable and the other ended the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Cash returned to the table with another round and sank into the chair next to me. I looked up at him, willing myself not to start crying as my decision became clear to me.

Cash deserved a choice.

It wasn’t only up to me.

If Cash and I were supposed to be together, then it would happen one day. But I wouldn’t be 100 percent in this relationship if I was constantly wondering if he really loved me or just stayed because it was fun and easy.

I also knew that if I brought this up right now, he’d commit to me. He would tell me he wanted to stay together, but he also had this new life waiting for him…and he deserved to enjoy it. I would never want to hold him back. I wanted him to live it up on the road. I had a job and couldn’t afford to just travel as his groupie.

This was a hard decision but I knew what had to be done. It was going to break my heart but I deserved the grand love story with someone who chose to be with me. Someone who wanted the same life I did. Someone who wanted to settle down and have a family.

Maybe one day, Cash would want those things with me, but this wasn’t our time. Timing was always working against us it seemed.

I glanced at Cash and smiled. Once I came to my decision, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders and I could relax for the first time in weeks. My mind felt clearer and I could enjoy these last few hours with the man that would always hold my heart.