Page 7 of The Duke’s Wager

“Your father is in pain, my dear.”

Edward nodded silently – silence was all he had to offer her. She sighed deeply. It seemed as though she searched her mind desperately for the right words.

“You must know, Edward, that he loved your mother very much. It pained him to lose her, and… I’m not saying he is handling the matter in a dignified way, but his heart hurts.”

Little Edward had looked up at his grandmother with wide eyes, desperate for his own hurt to be seen and acknowledged, but at the same time eager to be the man of the house whilst his father was in turmoil.

“How can I make his hurt go away, nana?”

Her answer still pained him in adulthood. It was something that he never truly accepted, something that kept him up many a night.

“You can’t do that, my darling boy. No one can.”

She’d been right: no one could take his father’s pain away. After a while, not even the numbing properties of alcohol could do that.

So after his death, Edward had vowed never to become like William had been in his last months. He would not avoid alcohol by any means, but he would never be weak. He would never let his emotions get the better of him, and he would never love a woman the way his father had loved his mother.

He would never put himself in a position where losing someone could end him.

Edward closed his eyes at the memory. It suddenly felt like a knife had been plunged into his heart and he subtly touched his chest.

Even after all these years, the memories of his childhood still had a way of sending an ache to the very core of his being. For the most part, he was able to ignore the nagging feelings and haunting memories. Unfortunately, the one person who was always able to draw the memories to the forefront of his mind was his grandmother and he would never deny her a conversation.

He realized, of course, that the very same memories that ached in him must have hurt her as well. While he had lost his parents, Evelyn had lost her child. Edward could not even begin to imagine how painful that had to have been for her, and yet he could not remember an instance where she had truly shown him that she was in pain.

Instead, she had always been strong, something he had admired but was immensely intimidated by.

He gritted his teeth and shook his head. It was no use musing on these thoughts and feelings, they were all but productive.

Besides, he thought as the carriage pulled up to an all-too-familiar house, it was far more prudent to focus on the job at hand.

The sultry figure of a woman awaited him in the doorway, and Edward smirked as he jumped from the carriage.

“Let’s see how long she lasts.”

The whisper was a quiet dare to himself, and he took a few large strides forward to greet the raven-haired woman with a passionate kiss – the feelings that had plagued him on the ride over, all but forgotten.

CHAPTER THREE

For Lucy, the first engagement of the season came far too quickly. She was not ready for it by any means. In fact, she would much rather be holed up in her room with a book.

It was one of the few kindnesses that her father had extended to her – the opportunity to learn to do more than sew and look pretty. He wanted her to learn how to read, write, and on good days, he even spoke to her about his many travels.

Though she was not too fond of his protective ways, she enjoyed it immensely when he spoke about the places he had seen. Oftentimes, she even dreamed of visiting these places herself. That, however, was something she never shared with him.

Reading and knowledge, as she knew well, were not often sought by ladies of her station. Sometimes, Lucy mused cheekily, even the men in their social circles did not crave knowledge. Alfred was one of those men. She was certain that he would attend the engagement – his father was her father’s business partner, and the two men got on quite well.

As for herself, she had never truly been close to Alfred. He was far too shallow and frivolous for her tastes, but he was one of the few men who were not downright cruel to her. They had grown up together, and while they were never good friends, they had gotten along reasonably well – that was until they entered their adolescent years. Suddenly, Alfred withdrew from her. Lucy soon learned that she was seen as intimidating by the men of the ton, even those she had considered friends.

This did not bother her as much as people thought it did. In fact, she preferred it that way. The only ones who truly knew her were Maria and Nicolas. Lucy smiled at the thought of the pair – the only two people she had ever met with the capacity to love unconditionally. They were always there, when she had her nightmares, when she merely wanted to talk, and even when she wanted advice about the season, although they both admitted that the engagements were far removed from their frame of knowledge.

Yet, Maria had been willing to help her choose the perfect dress for today’s occasion, and she had even gone as far as braiding her hair, something Lucy herself still struggled with.

“The braid suits you,” sounded her father’s voice.

“Thank you.”

This concluded the entirety of their conversation.