Page 71 of The Duke’s Wager

“You are young, and you are supposed to experience these things, but I think it’s more than that, ”Maria said when Lucy was finished.

“You do?”

“I think Edward might be your saving grace.”

“My saving grace?” Lucy looked at Maria with a small frown, uncertain of what she meant by this. Maria nodded quickly, her eyes gentle.

“You might not want to believe it, Lady Lucy, but you do need someone to save you. Not only from your father, but from yourself. You have built these walls around you, refusing to let anyone in, but that is no way to live!”

“I never wanted to feel this way, Maria,” she admitted, tears filling her eyes. “I never wanted to fall in love, open up my heart, get married. I never wanted to do those things, because I was… I am… too afraid.”

“Afraid?”

Maria looked confused, and Lucy nodded, her eyes closed.

“Afraid of what, darling?”

Lucy released a shuddering breath and opened her eyes to look at Maria. “Afraid of ending up like my mother.”

“Lucy…”

Maria’s eyes were kind and sympathetic, and she looked at her with so much love that the latter was nearly brought to tears once more.

“Not every man is like your father, my darling.”

There it was. The words that Lucy had longed to hear for years.

“I hate him, Maria.” Her words were soft, but a whisper, but she repeated them with more fervor. “I hate him. He is cruel and he is… he is awful. My mother… she is better off. Death is far better than—”

She took a deep breath and shook her head, the words falling from her lips now.

“Death is better than a life with a man like him.”

She had hidden her feelings about the man for so many years, but she was unable to do so any longer. “He thinks he owns me. I am not a human to him, I am a mere puppet. An opportunity to get admiration from the rest of London. He is vile.”

Maria did not deny any of the vehement accusations. Instead, she was quiet for a few minutes, then she sighed deeply.

“Lady Henrietta, was everything your father is not. No matter where they went, people loved her, and she loved them. He was… is… a miserable man, little Lucy – one who could not stand seeing his wife happy.”

It was the first time ever that Maria had spoken out about her father.

“He started off by keeping her from her friends, then from her family. Soon, she was only allowed out of the house when he would accompany her, and when she smiled a little too broadly or laughed a little too loudly, he would make her pay for it. He wanted to control her… wanted her life to revolve around him and him alone.”

Maria closed her eyes, and Lucy leaned forward, her expression pained.

“Maria, why do you think…. Why did my mother…?”

She could not ask the question – not the one she truly wanted an answer to. She was far too afraid.

Maria sighed and pulled Lucy closer, stroking her hair gently. “Oh, sweetheart… I cannot speak for Henrietta. What I do know is that once you were born everything changed.”

“How?”

Lucy’s voice was small, and Maria smiled at her gently. “Henrietta loved people, loved going out, but once she had you her entire world changed. It all revolved around you. You were enough for her… And once you were here, she truly tried everything in her power to make your father happy too.”

“She did?” Lucy’s eyes were wide, and Maria nodded gently.

“Yes, my dear. She wanted to keep you safe, to protect you from his wrath, and she would have given up on anything for that. You were her whole life, Lucy.”