Page 28 of The Governess’s Carnal Temptation

“I understand you can fend for yourself. Still, after what Charlotte did to you, I’d feel more comfortable knowing I am there when you meet her again. Please?” He proffered his arm, and after some hesitation, Lydia took it.

“I will speak to her, but I think having you there will help. Thank you,” she said as a pleasant hint of peppermint wafted on her face. She smiled as he’d always liked peppermint comfits, even when he was young and out of favor.

“As you wish. I am only glad to see you out of your chamber again. I hope this means you will join me for dinner again. I’ve missed your company,” he said quietly, and she blushed, averting her eyes.

“Of course.” She said no more as she knew she had to remain distanced. The past was the past, and it did not matter. Not anymore. She turned the doorknob to the classroom and entered; apprehension sending tingles over her skin.

“About time, Mrs. Funny. I am so bored. This book you made me read is for babies, and I am certainly not a…” Charlotte stopped the second she saw Lydia, her lips in the shape of an O.

“Good morning, Lady Charlotte,” Lydia said with as much confidence as she could muster.

“Charlotte, Miss Haddington has returned to resume classes,” Nicholas said but stepped back to let Lydia take the lead.

“You’re back,” Charlotte said in a weak voice that might have belonged to a regular child, not one with an inflated sense of self-importance.

“I am.” Lydia walked to the pile of pillows and blankets in the corner, Charlotte’s play area. “Will you sit with me?”

She sank onto the soft pillows and patted the space beside her. Charlotte rubbed her shoes together at the toes and looked at her father, who shrugged.

“You heard her.”

The girl bit her bottom lip but then did as Lydia asked. She didn’t sit right beside her, instead, she sat in the far corner, her shoulder pressed into the wall as if to steady herself.

Lydia cleared her throat, aware that this would be the most important conversation she’d have with the little girl. One that would determine if her posting here as governess would be a success or end in failure.

* * *

Nicholas watched as Charlotte’s eyes darted from him to Lydia and back again. He’d slipped into a chair in the far-right corner, eager to watch what Lydia planned without interfering.

He had every confidence in her. After what had happened, he’d expected her to leave. Instead, she’d stayed. He hadn’t even had to ask her. She’d seen his desperation as only she could.

How wonderful it had been to have that understanding again, that warmth between them. He’d missed it so very much. Yes, awkwardness and distance still marked every interaction with her, but he’d felt something from her he’d never expected to again. Warmth. Affection. Maybe even…

No. He could not allow himself to think of things that could never be. They were not young lovers on the cusp of life together. They were employer and employee. The best he could hope for was a friendship – and knowing himself, that was for the best. He wanted Lydia to be taken care of, to be respected. He wanted her to be happy.

And the best way he could do that was to ensure his daughter paid attention to what she said.

He’d already spoken to her, along with Mrs. Funny, and made her understand how dangerous her actions had been. Thus far, Charlotte hadn’t seen or talked to Lydia, and judging by how his daughter looked at her governess, she was shocked by what she saw. While her stings were healing, the scabs remained a silent reminder of Charlotte’s misdeed.

Nicholas watched as Lydia shifted so she was face to face with Charlotte. The way Lydia carried herself, so composed and strong, impressed him. He’d wanted to shake his daughter for what she’d done but Lydia? She was the picture of poise.

“Charlotte, I want you to know that I am not angry at you anymore for what you did,” Lydia started, and Charlotte shifted at once.

“You’re not?”

“No. I was, naturally, but I’m not anymore. Do you want to know why?”

Charlotte dipped her head to the side and nodded as she bunched her light pink dress’s material in her right hand. Nicholas had never seen his daughter as sullen and subdued as now.

“Why?” she whispered just loud enough for him to hear.

“Because, as I told you before, I understand. I also lost my mother when I was very young, and I was angry at the world. I felt I had to protect myself from everyone, and lashing out was the way to do it. And you know what else?” Lydia slipped forward a little closer to Charlotte. “I was scared to let anyone care for me or love me because I thought I would be hurt again if I lost them. I determined to look after myself.”

Charlotte pressed her lips together and looked up at Lydia with a softness that Nicholas had never seen before.

“But despite all that, people around me loved me and cared for me,” Lydia said, glancing at Nicholas. A wave of heat rushed through his body, and he shifted in his seat. “Like everyone in this house loves you and wants the best for you. Even if they cannot always show it in a way you might realize.” She glanced at Nicolas again, and he averted his eyes, aware she meant him.

“You have a lot of pain in you for a girl so young, but so did I. And with the help of those who cared for me, I knew I did not have to be angry all the time. I could find my joy and happiness again; I was allowed to be happy even if my mother was gone. If you let me, I can help you. Wouldn’t it be nice not to be cross all the time?”