Page 67 of Elizabeth and Mrs. Bennet

Chapter 26

Pemberley

As I prepared for bed, Mama knocked on my door, asking to speak with me. She entered in her dressing gown and came to sit beside me on the small sofa.

“Lizzy, I have something to tell you.” She paused, taking my hands. “I do hope you will not be upset.”

“Oh, Mama. You could do nothing to upset me. Now, is this to do with the Matlocks visiting tomorrow?”

“Indirectly. No, let me come to the point. Mr. Darcy—George—has asked me to marry him, and I have accepted.” Mama gave a little laugh, half-nervous; a flush crept up her cheeks—she looked at me with such expectation.

“Oh, Mama, I am so pleased, so very, very happy for you!” I felt such delight—my only surprise was that it had not happened sooner.

Mama’s eyes filled with tears. “You do not repine, then? You are not angry that I should marry again, and so soon—only eighteen months since dear Mr. Bennet was taken from us?”

I threw my arms around her. “No, Mama. I am not angry. I am glad—truly glad. You deserve happiness and companionship. And what a family we shall be! Imagine—Georgiana and Fitzwilliam, truly my sister and brother. I have always thought of them so, but now it will be real.”

“Lizzy, I had not thought to marry again—certainly not so soon. I do not love him as I loved Mr. Bennet. But I think our affection can grow to love. As you already know, he is the kindest of men. Not romantic, but thoughtful; he listens to my opinions; we enjoy each other’s company. Is it so very wrong?”

My eyes must have been shining. “Not wrong at all; indeed, it is very right!”

“I ought to explain a little more, Lizzy, even though you are a maiden, unmarried.”

I gave Mama a puzzled look. Unmarried? Why ever should that matter?

Mama squeezed my hand. “On the night before Jane’s wedding, you remember I took her aside for a private conversation?”

I did remember, for she had hustled me from Jane’s bedroom, requesting some privacy with her.

“I spoke to Jane of the intimacies between a wife and her husband,” Mama continued. “The physical union of a man and a woman.”

“Oh…” I felt myself grow warm—a warmth I had begun to feel more lately in Fitzwilliam’s presence.

“Perhaps you are already aware, for I know young women often have read of such things, or spoken of them to their friends. But that is as may be. You recall my speaking of Mr. Bennet and me no longer sharing our bed after Lydia died, that I could not entertain the thought of losing another child?”

Lydia grasped my hand. Such a sweet child, whom Jane and I dressed in embroidered caps and linen frocks, and sang to as she lay on her quilted coverlet in her wicker cradle.

“That was such a hard time, Lizzy. For the comfort of a man, a man who is kind and caring, is like no other. Over the years, we grew accustomed to our restraint, but it introduced a separation between us that only grew worse when Thomas became afflicted with his arthritis.”

‘Oh, Lizzy, was it my fault that Mama and Papa grew apart?’ I felt Lydia’s tears.

‘Of course not, sweetling,’ said Kitty, embracing her younger sister. ‘It is just the way of the world.’

Mama was silent for a while, lost in her memories. “What I mean, Lizzy, is that I wish to be held by a man I respect and admire—I wish the closeness of that physical bond. I cannot say why—I had thought it no longer mattered to me. But George has aroused in me a yearning I had thought lost forever.”

‘Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine,’ Mary murmured, from the Song of Songs. I trembled; I had never had such a kiss. Fitzwilliam had kissed my cheek—if he kissed my mouth, would it taste like wine?

“I believe I am beyond the age of conceiving children,” Mama said, a little wistfully. She was speaking to herself, rather than to me. “Oh, I still have my courses, but few women of forty years carry a child. Yet, Proverbs says that a wife should satisfy her husband—marriage is not solely for bringing children into the world.”

How could a maiden advise her mother of such things? “You must follow your heart, Mama; you are truly a good woman. You must talk of it with Mr. Darcy; once married, he will be your closest friend and confidant, not I.”

Mama blushed. Had they already spoken of it? Surely, they had.

“Lizzy, you spoke of the Matlocks’ visit. The Earl is head of the Fitzwilliam family, uncle to Georgiana and Fitzwilliam, and Lady Anne’s brother. While George does not need his permission to remarry, he feels he should consult with him out of courtesy, at the very least.

“Can the Earl refuse?” Momentarily, I felt fear for Mama’s happiness.

“No, he has no legal right to dictate Mr. Darcy’s personal choices,” replied Mama, aware of my concern. “But Lord Matlock is a powerful man; Lady Matlock, a countess, is a member of the highest circles. If she opposes it, then it could affect both your and Georgiana’s entry into society; perhaps also the marriages you might make.”